It crept up on me while I was busy doing something else.
There was always lots to do being a wife, mother, daughter, teacher, home-maker, gardener and generally Jill of All Trades. I squished into the hairdresser’s comfy seat with a sigh. Phew! A bit of “me time” with coffee and a biscuit. Bliss! Then my hairdresser politely told me that she couldn’t cut my fringe over the sides of my forehead as there didn’t seem to be enough hair. Most of us remember what we were doing when a tragedy happens; I was sitting in the hairdresser’s chair.
My reaction to my hair loss changed who I was.
I had been like other women who have come through lots of different challenges in life: illness, redundancy, bereavement, relationship and family issues. I had always found a solution but there was no solution to my hair loss, despite medical intervention. This challenge temporarily flawed me. I sank into deep unhappiness, insecurity and was unwilling to go out. My way of seeing the world and my life changed.
My hair had always been my signature.
“the girl with the curls” became how people identified me and how I thought of myself. As a young, working mum, one quick scrunch of my wet hair and I was ready to go. Thick, glossy curls tumbled over my shoulders or were secured at the nape of my neck for work. Easy!
Now there were new challenges. How do I hide my receding hairline?
Do I tell people or try to hide under headbands. That really wasn’t a good look for me. I always felt ugly and became unusually quiet and withdrawn. I spent so much time and energy analysing and scrutinising my emerging scalp and trying clip-on fringes and toppers whose clips had none of my bio hair to clip in to at the front. Should I use wig tape? Would glue be better and would it come off my skin? Will I look like my cat is sitting on my head? I was exhausted. I continually stressed over what was lost and would never grow back. I recognised this destructive thinking but couldn’t stop.
Until something happened.
My mum passed away. I sank into a black hole.
My G.P. was very supportive. Slowly I began to accept all that I had lost and I began to fashion my new reality. ‘Simply Wigs’ started my journey back. I sent for pieces and returned some. The staff were so kind and understanding that I felt able to email a photo to them and I was guided and supported to make more appropriate choices. Their advice was spot on! I have a knowledgeable team behind me and some new tools to negotiate my way forward.
I’m now so much happier.
I am regaining my confidence and I am able to throw back my head and laugh as I used to. I’m even beginning to experiment with different pieces. I still have “I’ll wear a hat” days, but I’ve noticed I have lots more “good hair” days. There are a lot of things I am grateful for in my life. I joined an art class and one lady remarked that I always have lovely hair! It’s up to me now whether I choose to tell but mostly I smile and say “thank you!”
Hair loss can be an insidious disease. I took up the challenge to live with it, to continue living my best life with hairpieces because although my hair is important to me, it isn’t all that I am.
take care,
Irene
x
Thank you do much Anne Marie x
Love this Irene. You look amazing because you have worked to find what works but also because your inner strength and choice to be positive shines through your eyes and your smile. X
Thank you! That will be lovely x
Thank you I will let you know how I get on, I’m quite looking forward to the new me!
Hello Margaret! Thank you for replying to my story, I hope you really enjoy your new hair. Remember you’re not alone- we’re in this together! X
I think I’m on that journey myself , my confidence going out has gone.
So I’ve ordered my first wig yesterday, I’m nervous but I’ve read a lot about hair loss.
So here’s to a happier life!
Thank you so very much for taking time to read my writing and make such kind and generous comments. I’m glad that you found it helpful Sue. Ah yes! To tell or not to tell…. As my confidence wearing my “hair” grows, I feel less inclined to tell. I rather just say “thank you”. You are right, it is your business and your choice whether to disclose or not. It would be interesting to see if other “hair wearers” feel this way too. The Simply Wigs team did a fabulous job indeed helping me choose Poppy. Morag- I remember the moment my finger hesitated over the mouse, the cursor poised over the ‘SEND’ button. I really need not have worried. That was the first time I had shown anyone my hair loss. The team were so positive and supportive. So glad I just did it! It was so kind of you Marianne to be so complimentary. I do feel as you say-much more confident and more able to take on challenges when my hair, eyebrows and lipstick are on! I’ve noticed too that I’m not as ‘invisible’ when I present my good self to the world. I’m noticed, heard and, I feel, more respected. We are not defeated by hair loss, our courage defines us! Thank you so much.
Dear Irene.
Laugh out loud, you have a great smile.
Stay proud of who you are.
Your husband, children, parents, coworkers, love you the way you are.
With hairpieces, or not.
I think the hairpieces make you feel more confident, stronger.
It is yet another challenge to wear hairpieces, that you – and only you – can master with pride.
In the end of the day, no matter how much everybody tell you look great, hairpiece or not, it is what YOU feel inside, that’s shine who YOU are. Stay proud of that.
Wearing your hairpiece; I think you shine like a star.
Live your life “with all that you are.” 🙂
..A wonderful lady.
I wear my wigs going out all the time now. and even If I don’t go out, I wear them at home.
It gives ME energy, to do everything BETTER!
Simply, is like taking a “confident/power/happiness pill.”
Stay safe Dear Irene.
keep smiling.
xxx
Irene, thank you for writing your hair loss story. You look wonderful in the photo! That hairstyle really suits you. It’s noticeable how many women lose their hair due to illness and other life stresses. Having a good head of hair is so important for morale, and everyone wants to look their best. I so agree, that Simply Wigs are a great support. I’m going to take up your tip of sending them a photo and asking for advice. Keep smiling, you’re amazing! xx
Thank you Irene for sharing your story of hairloss. It’s so helpful to me when people share there story I understand then that I’m not alone on this journey of ups and downs. I do sometimes feel pressured into telling people that I have Alopecia when they make comments about my hair and then I regret it immediately as is no one’s business but mine.
Take care x
Wow – that could be me! Thank you for sharing.