‘ What is Trichotillomania?’
Trichotillomania is a condition where a person feels compelled to pull out their own hair (I refer to it as trich because I don’t like the ‘mania’ part). A person may pull out the hair on their head or in other places, such as their eyebrows or eyelashes. The pulling can range from minimal to severe, leading to baldness.
I have had trich since I was 12 when I started to pull out my eyelashes, and I then began pulling out the hair on my head when I was 15.
‘What causes Trichotillomania?’
It’s difficult to say what causes trich – many say that it’s a reflection of OCD, or a mental health problem, and that pulling hair can be a way of relieving stress or anxiety. Others describe hair pulling as a type of addiction and that the more a person pulls their hair out, the more they want to keep doing it.
I’m a bit of a perfectionist so I think I started with trich because if I felt an eyelash or hair out of place – one that wasn’t perfect – then I had to get rid of it and pull it out.
‘How do you feel having Trichotillomania?’
Mostly, having trich makes me feel very unattractive and causes me low self-esteem, but wearing wigs definitely helps me be more confident and goes a long way in making me feel like myself again.
I feel a crippling shame and embarrassment because it feels good to pull a hair out (yes, really!) – I feel a sense of release and this explains why I pull when I’m anxious or stressed. Sadly, this release is short-lived, and guilt quickly takes over because I’ve just created a new bald spot.
‘Can you not just stop pulling out your hair?’
This is a question I get asked all the time, and I hate it! The answer is that it is simply not that easy to ‘just stop’. There’s technically no cure and if you do manage to stop, there’s a chance of relapse because a person can become reliant on trich as it can be self-soothing.
Two years ago, I shaved my head completely as a way of trying to stop myself pulling by keeping my hair very short, but sadly, I still manage to pull hair out. I have now recently started CBT sessions and they are already helping me immensely – especially talking through the intricacies of my trich.
‘Do you mind talking about trichotillomania?’
I used to be very embarrassed and ashamed of having trich and would often avoid the subject or be deliberately vague about my hair loss. This made me very anxious and caused many pulling sessions (a vicious cycle), so I’m now very open about trich and often post about it on social media.
I was very flattered when Emma asked if I would consider writing about trich. I feel strongly that more people should talk about the condition because when I first started, no one talked about it, and very few knew what it was. I felt like such a freak and very alone, and I don’t want others to feel this way, so I want to encourage people to talk about trich!
Love and pull-free vibes,
Alex
xx
Where abouts are the bald patches?
For years I managed to disguise mine with hair fibres and root concealer spray.
I wear a hair enhancer from here now because the bald spots are worse but I don’t need a full wig yet. It blends in lovely with my remaining hair.
ok so I need some help. My step daughter came to live with us a year and a half ago. She is now 15. She was being badly bullied about head lice and smelling and all.sorts of horrible things. She was not in a stable environment with her mum.
About 6 months ago I noticed, after I’d been away that she had been pulling her hair out. I have been looking at all the sites trying to get some map of what to do. I’m scared for her. She is an amazing girl and I tell her that as well as how beautiful she is. She has a councillor now too. We are at the point where it’s going to be noticed at school. She already has mild abuse which she deals with but the bold patches are now really bad. Do I get her a wig. I’m a fixer and I hate to see her hurting. Please help.
Hi,
Thank you so so much for sharing your story, very proud of you to be able to share this As a fellow Tricher l’m so ashamed of myself, l am 58 and at the age of 11 l went through a lot of diffficut times. At first l started getting hair loss patches, but then started pulling my hair out and never owned up to it, had lots of different treatments, yes even electric shocks. Finally l was fitted for a human hair wig at the age of 13, will never fioget it my hair l did have was shoulder length and the nhs wig fitter just put it on my head and cut all my hair off. I was in total shock, but kept it to myself as did not want to upset my parents. I was bullied at school called wiggy, twiggy and a freak. I still struggle to come to terms with it, no self confidence, since moving to Cornwall 3 yrs ago l have got worse as down here there is nowhere to go to get wigs, apart from through the net. Unless any woman has gone through loosing there hair, no-one can truly understand how it makes you feel. I’ve always said if l win the lottery l would love to set up a business to really really help people suffering all kind of hairlose and all the support good and bad they need regardless, also make every single person feel special.I So wish to meet people whom have the same condition re trich.
Like l say l’m so proud of you sharing and all the ladies whom have shared aswell.
Thank you for your story and you are beautifulx
Ladies you are all inspirational for sharing your situations and feelings… and Alex, you are beautiful with or without hair ? I am 53 and have been a ‘trichster’ since around 15…I have no idea what caused me to start pulling my hair out but believe it to be a stress related condition. I lost my hair to the extent that I shaved it and didn’t even contemplate wearing wigs until I had my first child. It was the first time I considered the impact of my ‘habit’ on someone else..and the beginning of me understanding what I had put my loved ones through by not accepting help. However, I was determined not to let the condition define me and it has never held me back in terms of having an extremely happy and fulfilling life. I have been a wig wearer now for 29 yrs even though I have been ‘Trich’ free for 6 yrs because my hair is damaged beyond repair. But, hey, my husband loves the fact that he has a ‘New woman’ each time I change my style or colour, which is great fun! And my family are nothing but supportive. Its great to know I’m not alone though…so thank you for sharing ?
Wow – it’s so comforting to know I’m not alone. I’ve had trich since I was 12, would pull out my hair (never eyebrows etc) and make bald patches which at one point got so bad I had to wear a wig at about 13 years old. Sorry this is a bit of a ramble – My trich started because I was being bullied and I feel it (for me) was like self harming. I was told I was fat and ugly so when I pulled and it hurt I was satisfied that I was punishing myself for being ‘not good enough’. I would manage to stop for months at a time when my hair would grow back and I would have a lovely hair cut and then the cycle would start all over again and over time it became more of a compulsive habit.
This went on for many years – I tried to tell my ex-husband about it but he didn’t want to know. In my late 30’s I finally plucked up the courage to tell my GP – (I thought he would think I was a freak like Alex thought of herself) but he was so kind and sent me for help which didn’t work.
I was relieved to find out I wasn’t the only person in the world who did it (cos I really thought I was!) and after my marriage ended I started a relationship with someone who I was completely honest with and he was lovely about it but it still didn’t stop me from doing it.
By now I had permanent bald patches which I could disguise with a clever hair cut and a wonderful hair dresser and finally I did manage to stop. I sometimes still get the urge but having acrylic nails makes it much harder so I give up!
Because I’ve now gone through the menopause my hair started to thin so I now wear a wig – oh the joy of having a fringe!! I love the fact that Simply Wigs have this lovely community where people share their stories. So thanks Alex and all you other lovely ladies who have commented – we are not freaks, we’re all gorgeous women who are lucky enough to live in an age where one can find beautiful wigs to cover up our hair issues.
Kim xx
I too suffer with Trich, I am now 60 and it started at 14, until 4 years ago it was my dirty secret, I told my GP, and 8 months ago I started treatment for complex post traumatic stress, I’m only at the beginning of my journey to get well, I am nearly bald and am not aware I do it, but I do so want to stop, reading this I don’t feel so alone, so thank you, my best wishes for your journey.
Lynn
Hi
Love your honest Story thank you so much for posting it!
As a child I would pull my hair out when I was upset and stressed. (Difficult childhood)
Started again when going through a bad marriage in my twenties. Life seemed to settle and I stopped.
But two years ago at the age of 57 I was diagnosed with breast cancer and lost my hair to chemo.
It has grown back but it’s curly and unruly so I found myself pulling it out again.
I have found the best thing for me is to keep wearing wigs, this seems to stop me from pulling my own hair out. What I’m finding is that I don’t even realise I’m doing it and even pull it out in my sleep!!! I wear one of my chemo sleep hats to try and stop this.
I’m hoping with time I will stop!
Gwyn
Xx
It was great to read this article as a fellow trich-sufferer! I’ve struggled for 15 years trying to find ways to hide and cover my bald patches – which is what lead me to simplywigs.co.uk in the first place!
At the moment I have enough hair that I can just use a hair enhancer (the mono top amore has been a revelation) but I have resided myself to the fact that I will eventually need the coverage if a full wig. Websites and communities like this make it so much easier, and seeing all the wig options out there I don’t feel quite as worried about my hair loss.
But sometimes they also make me feel guilty about my trich, because so many of the other beautiful ladies on sites like these are talking about their journeys with alopecia, chemo or other medical-related hair loss – but I know that my hair loss is self-inflicted. It’s an internal battle of guilt and short lived satisfaction from my hair pulling that fuels the cycle. And Trichotilamania is still a largely unheard of disorder.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Chris xx
First of all, can I just say…. you’re so so beautiful honey! I love that youre so open, and that you’ve written such a personal piece x x x It must be so tough, and I’m so sorry for the struggles you’ve had over the years……. you’re so amazing and strong honey x I felt so sad when I saw you say at the end thatxyou used to feel alone and like a freak. You’re absolutely not – you’re just amazing x thank you for writing such a personal piece x x x You’re a wee star Loads of Love,MichelleX
I too have Trich and sm now 58 yrs old. Have had it since I was about 10-11 when I failed my 11 +…..only a small patch at first but as I got older Im afraid it got worse. My parents and family dismissed it and Im aftaid Ive never owned up to it to my husband and children. Too ashamed and embarassed to admit I pull my hair out. Been wearing wigs as a result for many years….even have to watch I dont pull the hair out of my wigs when Im sitting watching tv ! Im getting better but wish I could have got therapy for this many years ago . Brave of you to ” come out ” about this as Im sure many other people feel like this too .
I love this article. Thank you very much for allowing us to step into your trich world. I am sure that you are an inspiration to many.