‘I have a constant inner battle’
Just like the two tiny sword fighters in my head.
As the sword slashes confidently through the air catching the light with its mighty strokes, the sword fighter narrows his eyes, ready for combat and begins to interrogate his challenger.
“Why do you hide behind a disguise? “Shouts the voice from behind the shield.
“You cannot hide from yourself. What’s wrong with being you? Should it matter what people think? Be proud of who you are.”
The other sword fighter responds with anger and a clash of swords fills the sky. “I am proud of who I am” is bellowed through the air. “People do care what others think of them – how would you like to be stared at in the street, pointed at and ridiculed?”
“Who cares if they stare at you in the street? It’s the other person’s problem if they can’t handle it not yours! Being different is a good thing. Be empowered by it!”
Now tired from combat the sword fighter wearily retorts “trying to look good? Isn’t that why people wear wigs? It’s just the same as wearing makeup, so why would you say that makeup is a disguise? Being different is not always a good thing it can make you feel powerless!“
“Be free to be yourself” shouts the swordfighter lunging his sword towards his opponent.
“Being free is choosing to wear a wig- am I not free by making my own decisions?” Challenges the sword fighter.
“What are you so afraid of?” Roars his rival, his words finding their way to the very core of the sword fighters being as his weapon slices through the air.
“Isn’t everyone afraid of something?” He explodes as once again swords are lodged in combat.
Love from, Natasha
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Hi Rita
So sorry to hear about your situation snd trying to find the right wig. I know that really isn’t easy. I know I want a wig for a different reason but I know how you must feel. I would never go out dressed and make up without a wig for obvious reasons but I could imagine you feel exactly the same.
I really hope that you find the right one that you are happy with.
As I have realised and others have said, none of us should feel guilty or ashamed for how we are. But it doesn’t stop us feeling vulnerable if we are slightly different for whatever reason that may be.
Take care.
Steph x
Thank you for your comments. I just hope one day I can get my confidence.. I just feel they don’t look like natural hair .
Does anyone feel them hot and itchy . ? Sometimes I get a headache. But ye think i need to talk with people in same situation . Take care and I will let you all know if I fine a contentment in myself . X
Hi Natasha
Thank you so much for your comments. It really does feel so amazing to be able to go out as a female. It’s something that I cannot explain but feels like heaven. I do sometimes wonder if I should be female because it feels so right.
I’d post a photo or 2 if I could but don’t think that’s possible on here.
Steph xx
Dear Rita,
I completely understand how you feel. It can be really tough navigating life with hair loss and how we see ourselves. Give yourself time and take baby steps. Have fun trying different wigs in salons until you find the one that feels most like you invest in a good wig. I doubt that your husband has gone off you as you are still you! You may look a little different but you are still the same. Don’t listen to that little voice in your head telling you you’re not good enough because it’s simply not true. Flick it away hold your head up high and know that the inner warrior inside you will get you through this. Breath be kind to yourself and talk to close friends or anyone in the alopecia community. I promise you you’re not alone. Big hug and lots of love ??
Dear Steph
It’s amazing that you have taken the brave step to be the true you it must feel amazing! Thanks for sharing your story I hope it will encourage others to do the same. Natasha xxx
I lost a lot of my hair 20 yrs ago when I had a Anaphylactic shock , I tried every thing ….saw specialist, tried hair restoring solutions,which cost a fortune and did not work, as my hair was always very thick I found life very hard …it is not nice to be stared at and I was even called baldy by a gang of lads in the street! I had a cancer scare and after a talk with the specialist he asked if there was anything else I wanted to ask so I brought up my hair loss …..he turned around and showed me the back of his head which was bald and said ‘young woman stop wasting your money and get yourself a good wig ,don’t you think if there is anything you can do I would have done it’…..that was when my future with wigs started,firstly buying from an American site where I found 1 wig which really suited me then when that was discontinued I found one on simply wigs that I loved,sadly festival has now been discontinued so the search is on for another that suits me ,I wear large cap and just wish there was a better selection in this size of curly shoulder length wigs ! I had one sad reaction to how men can feel about wigs when I went on line dating,I was talking to what seemed a really nice guy ,my photo was on site and he was really keen ,after several months we agreed to meet as he lived the other end of England from me and was going to travel all the way down to see me I thought I should mention my wig ,well that was the last I heard from him so I sent him a message naming all the people I could think of who wear wigs ….Joan Collins etc….and told him what a lucky escaped from such a shallow man I had! The man in my life man does not care at all about my wig …I told him on our second date, he just tells me I worry to much .It is nice to hear other wig wearers story’s ,mine gives me more confidence to face the world .
Hi Steph
Thank you so much for your comment. It really is such a relief and so nice being able to be me. It really doesn’t bother me now what people think. But as you said, a decent wig is the finishing touch and so important.
Take care
Steph xx
Natasha, you described my feelings so well. There are days when I’m out and proud, happy to tell anyone that I am a wig wearer. Other, less confident days, I hide away. If more of us were “out” it would help so many women struggling with hair loss for whatever reason.
Rita, to you I say, order your wig as soon as you can. Phone or visit Simply Wigs, their service, advice and kindness are outstanding. I would recommend a shorter, layered style for a first wig. Less of a change from your natural hair probably and, I think, more natural. Choose a synthetic one, so much easier to look after and a huge range and not a lot more expensive than a cut and colour at the hairdressers. As your confidence returns you can start being more adventurous. You are not alone and the more you find how many of us are wig wearers the more you will want to spread the benefits of no more “bad hair days”.
Dear Rita, so sorry to hear you are struggling emotionally. Why not wear a cancer hair loss sleep cap at night? They come in all shades and stylers and keep your head warm, too. I attached clip on giant material flowers to one of my plain ones. Some sleep caps are really pretty. You will find lots to choose from. When I knew I would lose my hair through breast an error treatment I got my two teenage sons to sit one on either side of me and told them and said “I amgoibg to be very glamorous in a wig.
ThinkJoan Collins!” Now, Iam second time around with ovarian cancer treatment and Mentally thinking of Dolly Parton! A wig is awonderful opportunity to try different colours and styles! Embrace it! Nobody thinks any less of Joan and Dolly for outing their wigs. Or that they are not glamorous. Lastly, talk through your difficult feelings with a good listener. If you ordered a dress on line, you might find it did not suit. And send it back. The same is true if wigs. It is not a disaster. Keep trying.
To Steph,
Have been out now for over 8yrs now, it feels a massive relief, wearing a wig to compliment my own hair and styles, gives me confidence,
Just be who you are,
Don’t listen to haters, they are the ones with the problem, take care
Steph xx
I am struggling so much with my wigs tried different styles textures. I feel embarrassed with my husband I just feel he has went off me I take my wig off at night for a break but I look so bad with very little hair . I can’t go in company I feel embarrassed I feel everyone looking at me . My son is getting married next year and I am worried sick I will look ok .
I find it hard with my Neighour’s one day my hair short then next week it’s different ??. I am trying to get a wig I like then buy a few . It’s nice reading all your stories . I just hope one day I will feel the person I was . And be happy. Like most of you are . X
I’m at the stage now where I wear wigs most of the time when I’m out and about because they look nicer and if I’ve taken trouble with my clothes and makeup my wigs complete the look. Around the house and with family and close friends I’m happy to be wigless just as I’m happy to be without makeup. As one other commenter has alluded to – at the end of the day no-one else really cares!
Hi
I haven’t purchased fromSimply wigs yet but I am currently looking. I have just read the comments and one I agree with so much is –
“Be who you are and be yourself”
The reason that comment means so much is that I am a Crossdresser and have battled with it since I was 13 years old with thoughts of it as young as 7. I am now 57 and I have finally accepted it with in myself. Now my current wife fully supports me and I’ve told a lot of my friends and family. I now do not care who knows or what people think and say.
I hope it’s ok for me to post this as I haven’t purchased yet but will be soon. Just trying to find a wig that is similar to my current one but better quality.
Steph
Thankyou xx
I love this article. Ive been wearing wigs for a while now. I am plus size and feel self confident without my wigs or ‘big hair’..I feel very sexy and I dont have the courage to not wear them or not have long hair.
Xxxx
I can relate to this inner struggle. Thanks for sharing xx
Emojis are showing up as question marks 🙂 sending all the love!
Thankyou ??
Hi Jeddie
Thanks so much for taking the time to reply ? Writing down our stories is so therapeutic especially as we are immersed in the digital age with videos and images lighting up our screens. I have always loved words and they, more than anything, touch my soul. The solution does lie inside of me, and only I stand in my own way, I realise that now after many years. I have never heard of the term wigotry but it’s brilliant! It really does help to know there are others who understand and write and read these pages I never knew anyone else with alopecia when I was a child and it could feel very isolating. So I’m so thankful to all of you wonderful women whose compassion, empathy and understanding knows no bounds. Can I also take this opportunity to say thankyou to simply wigs for providing this platform. I can be found on Instagram @nattynoonoo7 if anyone would like to connect further. Sending so much love and gratitude ??
thankyou Ann I think you are beautiful too!
Thankyou Ann! I think you’re beautiful too ?
Thankyou Zoe ? Your words are so appreciated and I feel like they wrap me in a huge hug ? So lucky to have you and others who completely understand and who are simply awesome ?
Hi Denise,
Thanks for this I’m so happy you’ve got your confidence back and I bet you look gorgeous!
Thankyou Steph really appreciate your comments ??
Thankyou so much Sharon xx
Thanks Neveen,
I am trying to be free to be myself it is honestly so hard though! I do love wearing a wig but would also love to embrace my alopecia by mixing it up am sweating lots of funky colours and styles after all that must be the most positive aspect of alopecia right? I need to find my brave!
Writing down our stories is helpful to ourselves and others, especially when written eloquently. Well done for taking the first step and recognising your inner struggle and the second step of realising that the problem and the solution are both located inside you, Natasha. You look really glamourous in your striking wig.
There are worse things that we have to cope with than ‘wigotry’ in other people. It helps to know that there are a whole bunch of us who write and read these pages who understand, doesn’t it? X
I think you look beautiful, it really suits you.
Thank you for sharing your feelings Nat. I’m sure many of us have that same daily battle. It’s reassuring to know we are not alone and there are others out there! Love your hair and your eyes are beautiful like your smile x
Great words Natasha!
I spent years and years worrying and being ashamed to be found out about my hair loss….after 20 years of stress and covering up with different solutions…. powders and extensions ( which after a few years of wearing them acerbated the problem) I decided to try a wig and hey presto!!
Problem over and got my confidence back and realised who actually cares….
Denise x
Loved you battle story xxx
Yes, be proud of who you are.
Take care x
Absolutely love the colour and style, you look amazing. Wonderful words too.
Loved it! I agree, be free to be yourself ??