“Hair is everything. We wish it wasn’t so we could actually think about something else occasionally. But it is. It’s the difference between a good day and a bad day.”
Phoebe Waller-Bridge
The above quote from BBC’s hilarious Fleabag had everyone rocking with laughter. Me too actually, although my hair is … well… not good. Very, very thin. Patchy. Weirdly bald at the back, especially behind my ears. There, I’ve used the b-word.
It was never thick and lustrous but I ‘got away with it’ until I was 60. Lots of expensive visits to hairdressers, trying out different colours, shorter styles and so on – until one day I had to face facts.
Admitting to myself that I had to get a wig was astonishingly difficult and depressing. Perhaps oddly,I felt guilty because I didn’t, after all, have cancer like many other people going ….. bald.
‘It’s only hair’ I kept saying to myself – but is it?
Floundering, I found a local hairdresser who ‘did wigs’. In fact, while they meant well, the problem was that they pitied me – and so I felt even worse. Pity and – well, to be honest, mild disgust – seem to be related in some way.
The first day I wore a wig I was fully convinced that everyone would notice and that only good manners would stop them staring. How wrong I was.
Anyway, I resolved to avoid over sympathetic hairdressers and discovered www.simplywigs.co.uk .The delight in finding a community which normalises wig-wearing!
The best thing of all – dammit, it’s actually fun to try different colours and styles. If it doesn’t work, return it!
I have the utmost admiration and respect for those who embrace alopecia and have the confidence to go wigless. But it is not for me. Possibly it would be, if I were in my twenties, tall and willowy, with a stunning bone structure. But no, I’m short, 65 and will settle for people asking me where I got my colouring done.
Life is good, and while it is humbling to admit that hair does matter, it is not, actually, everything!
Nuala
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Comments (24)
Just thank you to Nuala, first, then all the other ladies who left their own experiences and related their emotions. I am at the beginning stage of deciding to look at wearing a wig to cover my very fastly appearing top-back balding patch. Honestly I am ‘scared’ of it all… but hopeful. Thanks again all you wonderful women, now off to find videos about how to put one on, ………….x
I have just read everyone comments from the piece I wrote last year and I am feeling quite emotional! Thank You everyone and Thank You Simply Wigs!
My wig arrived last Friday after Simply Wigs pulled out all the stops to send it to me before they closed. I still have hair but it’s very thin now and my new wig has taken 10 years off me. A neighbour commented last night how nice my hair looks. I didn’t enlighten her!
I felt moved to comment as someone who has had Alopecia Areata and worn wigs for over 25 years. I admire those people brave enough to go ‘bare’ but for me it’s never been something I wanted to do. I’d sooner walk up the road naked! The improvements in wig technology in the time I’ve been wearing them has been huge. My first wig was so awful I gave up wearing it and put up with being stared at! Now people stop me in shops and ask me where I get my hair done. It’s great to see more publicity and acceptance for hair loss but sadly Phoebe Walker-Bridge was right when she said ‘hair is everything’. Luckily we have Simply Wigs to help us look and feel great again!
I have been wearing wigs for 5 years now. My hair disappeared from the side and top of my head completely, through stress supposedly. I wear wigs all the time, simply wigs are my godsend.
Hi Nuala, yesterday I ordered a wig from Simply Wigs. I also have very fine hair and when I was younger it was not a problem because it was cut so well. Now I’m older (73 on Saturday) it’s very thin especially on top and the crown and you can see my scalp. Mostly this has happened through stress and not being so well in myself. I’m looking forward to my wig and just hope I’ve chosen the right colour. I’ve tried to choose a style similar to how I would wear my own hair. I found everyone’s comments really interesting and helpful. Maureen
Nuala this is one of the most helpful articles I’ve read about hair loss, and absolutely sums up my own experience too. Thank you.
To tell or not to tell? Mostly I say ‘Thanks, it’s a wig’ but there is the odd occassion, usually with someone I barely know, when I feel it will confuse or embarass them (not me) so I just smile and thank them!
Put it like this, everyone who knows me knows about my wigs.
Loved reading this. I am so glad that is wasn’t only me who used to think I had to have a ‘reason’ for loosing my hair and almost felt guilty that I couldn’t say it was because of cancer or another illness!
Thanks for this Nuala , you echo my feelings exactly. I now wear a number of different styles of wig. Occasionally I wrestle with the remains of my bio hair (lost through stress mainly) but not often. Wigs are great and I tell anyone who compliments me on my hair that it is a wig.
I want to spread the word that it is just another kind of cosmetic. So, I’m vain, that’s fine. Hair is important to us and we shouldn’t need an excuse to fake it if we want to.
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