My hair loss and my valentine hero

My hair loss and my valentine hero

Richard and I were friends at school but we lost touch over the years, other than passing Facebook statuses. Many years went by and we both ended long-term relationships. We ended back in contact through an innocent Facebook comment four years ago. Since then, we’ve never stopped chatting. I never made my alopecia a secret to anyone, but I did however feel very paranoid and worried about what we people thought. I wouldn’t allow anyone to see me without a wig on.

Red Heart

Richard came round and we chatted properly for the first time in years. He told me that I’m beautiful and don’t need to wear a wig. I don’t know how he dared, but he pulled my wig off when I wasn’t expecting it.

He wanted to prove that the fear I have always felt wasn’t necessary. His encouragement and constant caring words and support eventually gave me the courage to take my children swimming and not wear a swimming cap for the first time. He told me no one would care and be unlikely to stare. He was right, I couldn’t believe it.

Next, it was laying together in a garden area at Alton towers, sunbathing with my wig on my lap. Then followed the indoor and outdoor pool. I used to be so serious and ashamed of my hair. Richard taught me that life will become easier and so much more fun if I could learn to love myself the way that he does.

He also taught me that people who may be cruel enough to make comments, have nothing if you are able to find comedy in their subject. I continue to go through regrowth phases as he continues to lose a bit more hair each day through the ageing process. We compete every so often about who has the most hair. Four years on since a passing Facebook comment, we have been married for over a year. He is the love of my life, he supports and encourages me in everything that I do and he makes me laugh constantly. Most importantly, he couldn’t care less if I had absolutely no hair, or if It all grew back. Every day I am thankful for the love that he shares and that I have him in my life.


Love you loads, Joanna

xxx

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Comments

7 thoughts on “My hair loss and my valentine hero

  1. Hi all, thank you for all your comments.

    Just seen the question though and thought I should answer!

    These are all wigs in the photos, all bought from this site. It’s my favourite site.
    Other than the top right photo, none are real hair.

    My first ever wig was Jon reneau, I bought it on the internet! I was lucky as that make is amazing.
    I’ve only ever bought that make since, other than the wedding one, I went for a different make as I like the pink/purple colours in it.

    I have practically no eyebrows either and it’s a chore drawing them on as I’m no good at it!
    My eyelashes can get bad too, but the left side of brows and lashes is always worse.

    Sadly I don’t think my hair will ever come back now to normal looking as it’s been 28 years of loss and regrowth. It won’t grow past 2 inches and is really patchy and fine.

    Take care everybody and keep smiling xxx

  2. Beautiful story. I know how hard it is. I’ve been married for 15 years and my hair has gone so thin it embarrasses me. Luckily my hubby is brilliant and it doesn’t bother him at all. But I admit I love my wigs now. I have to ask has your hair grown again because that picture says lovely natural hair. If that’s a wig I want one. You look brilliant together??. Pat

  3. I love your story and wish you both every happiness together. I lost all my hair a year ago and have absolutely no hair , lashes or brows now, due to hereditary auto immune diseases. Sadly, now will never regrow. I hate being bald and admire your bravery in celebrating and being able to go ‘bare’ , so to speak. I’m still in the mindset, that being bald is not only ugly but makes me feel vile. I hope that one day, to be more accepting . The only silver lining is at least I don’t have to ever shave or wax lol… so there’s always a positive…

  4. Awwww! I’m Richard!!! Hi Jo! Thankyou for publishing what seems to be many peoples fears about wig wearing, and I can honestly say it’s all a personal belief, ‘what if people look’ ‘what if people stare’, all valid points but indicative to a mental insecurity which hair loss obviously brings! My idea with jo was to make it irrelevant, make her see that hair or no hair really has no impact on how I or many people see a woman / man, we joke about it now, as we should!… ask yourself this, if you see a woman in the street with no hair would you stare, no, would you judge, no, and if you did it would say much more about you than the poor person with an illness, an illness many people would rather have than some invisible illness that shortens life…
    My “go to” reassurance with jo is to joke about it!: because there ain’t anything apse you can do! So why care!

    Beauty is within!

  5. What a beautiful story, I was genuinely moved and it has made me think about how I live my life and how people perceive me. I am happy for this couple.

  6. Wow, a lovely story, although I felt a moment of panic when reading the bit about Richard pulling your wig off! I still haven’t got past all this fear after 30 years of wig wearing and the past 8 years with a man that helps me accept who I am. Well done, so happy for you and it’s an encouragement to me to ditch the fear.

  7. Beautifully written and so inspiring! Treasure the heroes we have to support us in life.


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