Since encountering childhood alopecia, Sally has been wearing wigs for most of her life. Read her empowering story of childhood and adult hair loss, that she has bravely and kindly shared with the Simply Wigs community.
‘Write for us’
Your wonderful life stories that you kindly share with the SW community. Sally has had alopecia all her life, starting with childhood alopecia. But she wishes she had listened to her mum many years ago. It’s true, mums do know best – you will get through it, you will find a partner, you will be able to do what you want.
My Story
My name is Sally and I am 53.
For most of my life I have been wearing a wig, having suffered from childhood alopecia totalis since the age of 11.
It started off as a little patch here and there but eventually, I lost all my hair by the time I was about 13.
I remember one day washing my face and literally washed my eyebrows right off! That was a drama just before school. I hated it. I was bullied at school and out of school (although back then we didn’t know the word ‘bully’) and it made me miserable but my family were wonderful and, as far as they were concerned, I was still “me” and they made me the person I am today by making me realise there were many people far worse off than me and that nothing should stop you from doing what you wanted to do.
They tried to find every medical treatment they could to get my hair to grow back but nothing worked. Obviously – or I wouldn’t be writing this!
People told me it was hugely hormone-related so I was convinced that by the time I had children which (would be a huge hormone change), then it would magically reappear – Nah! As I now await the menopause I am secretly hoping that it might still come back!!
But the wigs were awful – back in the early 80s – there was nowhere near the choice that there is now. And certainly not for children or teens. People who wore wigs were either old ladies or bald men with awful toupees –
certainly not 13/14 year olds who were desperately trying to be in with the “in crowd” and – heaven forbid – find a boyfriend! They literally were like itchy carpets on your head that you had to try on in the middle of an old-fashioned department store.
My parents then took me down to London to fancy, real hair wig salons who used to supply wigs to celebrities and TV programmes but they were so expensive, you couldn’t wash them yourself and therefore had to have two (twice the price!) so one could be sent away to be washed while you wore the other one. The wig tape was so strong it gave me awful rashes but, knowing no better, I thought I was really glamorous. You could at least style these wigs so I could use tongs and lacquer. The 80s “big hair” was in so, at last, I felt like one of the girls being able to talk about “doing my hair”.
In 1986 I met my now husband. The impossible happened – I found someone who fancied me and wanted to be with me and didn’t really care anything about my adult hair loss. My mum was right – I did find someone. And 34 years on he still loves me. I even had two kids and thankfully they have fabulous heads of hair! I was so worried that my daughter, especially, would have inherited childhood alopecia or adult hair loss but she has the most wonderful thick, glossy hair and stunning eyebrows. My son’s hair is so thick that it grows the minute it’s cut! The dog actually sheds more than any of us!
THE ADVENT OF A COMPANY, SUCH AS SIMPLY WIGS HAS BEEN A REVELATION. THE CHOICE IS AMAZING; THE COLOURS; THE STYLES; THE CUTS; THE SPEED OF SERVICE; EVEN THE PRICE. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT A GODSEND THIS HAS BEEN.
And, of course, nowadays with platforms such as Instagram, it’s even more helpful to see photos of other customers. I am always just searching away on the website to look at new styles. If I had one wish it would be that I lived nearby so that I could go to the open days. I would still love to have the guts to one day wear a short, cropped style and then the next day a long, curly style – just for the hell of it! One day be blonde, the next flame red! Don’t get me wrong, I still worry – I still think what will happen in my old age, will I sit in my old folks’ home with my wig on back to front because I don’t know what to do!
What if it rains and I have no brolly? What if I need to swim – I love swimming but you can’t swim properly in a wig.
Years ago, I used to dream of it all coming back in but, nowadays, if you gave me the choice between a full head of fabulous hair or a lottery win, I would go for the lottery win every time!
Think of the wigs I could buy! A new one for every day. In fact, if you gave me the choice between hair and eyebrows/eyelashes, I think I would choose the brows/lashes. I do miss them. I hate the faff of drawing on eyebrows every morning and liner for lashes. I have tried false lashes on a couple of occasions but it is a bit of a faff and of course extensions only work when they have something to extend from. There is semi-permanent but again it’s costly and I am not sure if I’m brave enough? What if the make up artist sneezes whilst tattooing me and I end up with brows like a Harry Potter scar!
But, if I had to write a letter to my 13 year old self I think I would say – honestly your mum is right, you will get through it, you will find a partner, you will be able to do what you want.
Don’t let childhood alopecia define you. I know it’s horrid now but you will realise as you grow older that so many other things are far more important.
I am so glad when I was going through this as a child that there was no such thing as Facebook, Instagram etc as I think kids nowadays have a horrendous time with body image, celebrity status, social media, trolls etc. Don’t spend your teenage years wishing you looked like so-and-so because somebody out there is genuinely hoping they look like you do or have the life you have.
There is nothing worse than being told “there are people out there with worse things like alopecia” but actually it’s true.
So, thank you Simply Wigs for making this slightly easier.
Your company seems to know a lot about wigs and the way u Express yr self makes me feel so at ease I cant wait to try one or two of them that is how comfortable I feel about ordering from u thank u for all yr help xxx
Hi Sally …thank you from the bottom of my heart …it was like reading about me …I am 62 , lost my hair at 8 …lived with hope for years , hormones , 14 , 21 , babies .one day your hair will come!!!….now i am managing being bald …took me since my mum died when I was 50 to talk more, accept more and to love my little bald girl…I microbladed my eyes brows at 60 …and felt sad in the excitement that it had taken me so long …i needed that time …so thank you for being open and honest…as this is me and it’s okay to say it was at times damn hard too …xx and yes eyelashes any time …xx
Hi Sally, very relatible.. I’m 68yr young and total alopecia for 9years which happened very suddenly.. My sister almost 59 has the same since 4years old so this was my worst nightmare!
I did have eyebrows tattooed by a medical tattoo expert and this was well worth it. I had a face again! Hair styles are fabulous nowdays & if feeling like a change its so easy. ?
Eighteen months ago l changed my diet to mainly whole plant based with great results.
Best wishes. Lois NZ
Hi Chrissie I’m exactly the same I won’t let anyone see me either and I’ve had this condition since I was 23 and I’m 58 now. I would really love to my condition to not be a problem to my self esteem but I’m working on it and I am changing slowly. Take care sanda
My heart goes out to you allYou have made me feel a bit of a fraud because although I have very thin hair I do t have hair loss. I wear wigs from choice and thoroughly enjoy it My own hair just doesn’t cut it I feel twice as glamorous wearing them and frankly don’t care if any one knows I’m sure you all look lovely. stop worrying what people think As long as your happy. That’s all that matters
So reassuring that my own experience of alopecia totalis is made so much easier thanks to Simply Wigs.
After buying some dodgy wigs years ago elsewhere , today’s amazing choice ( and great service) make me almost forget my ‘problem ‘ and now after 15 years of being a wig wearer, l certainly don’t worry about it. Thank you SW X
Hi Sally,
It must have been horrendous for you losing your hair at such a young age. I too have alopecia totalis. I lost a lot of my hair in my thirties and had to wear a wig which I was very concious of. Thankfully my hair grew back, though was always quite thin. I reached my sixties and I began to get patches again. I tried all the usual things plus having steroid injections in my scalp but nothing worked. I managed to disguise the patches over time,but it wasn’t going to grow back. After losing it very gradually I finally lost it all plus brows and lashes four years ago. I’m used to my wigs now and don’t feel as concious when I’m out apart from when I’m in a queue , I think people will be able to tell, but really it doesn’t matter if they do. Lots of people wear wigs these days. I still don’t let anybody see me without. I admire those who do but I just haven’t got the courage yet.
Take care
Chrissie
Hi Sally hope ur well. Reading your story was like my life the exact story all that pain of school and trying to fit in with people is all in the past TG . But like u I met my husband and was lucky to meet the right person that loves me no matter what I have a beautiful daughter with long blond hair to die for I life is great thanks for telling your story good luck to you sally . Love Sandie
Sally my heart is with you one hundred percent. Nearly everything you have said I understand completely. I am 58 and lost my hair with alapecia totaliser at 23 years old with 2 little children it was so hard sometimes wasn’t it back in the eighties but it had made us the people we are today. God bless Sandra x
I absolutely loved reading this Sally! Your family sound amazing and you will have given hope to so many other people out there. ?