Accepting Female Hair Loss

A PERSONAL STORY OF COURAGE

I have come to terms with accepting female hair loss, but I have to say, it has felt like I’ve had to grieve over it.

Sounds so petty really, seeing as I had overcome having Thyroid Cancer in 1993.

But I was
Lucky
It hadn’t affected my hair at the time and my hair had always been my favourite part of myself. I was never one for massages, manicures, or spas, but I always loved my regular hair appointments, wanting various colours, cuts and styles, and to have that taken away felt like I’d lost who I was.

Accepting female hair loss has been a long journey. It started with my hairdresser at the time, who had found my first bald patch, the size of a 5p, in 2003, it was on the left-hand side on the back of my head. This was 5 months before I was due to get married, I put it down to stress and got it checked at the doctors, who confirmed it was Alopecia Areata. The doctor wasn’t concerned; he simply said I have a lot of hair and to try not to worry!

It grew back and I thought that was that. Everything was ok until 2005, 6 months after the birth of my first son, when I found another bald patch, this time just above my right ear, although now it was a bigger patch. Then, a few weeks later, another patch appeared above my left ear, and they continued to get bigger until I’d lost all the hair around my ears and quite a way above. I went back to the doctor, who referred me to a dermatologist. Once I was seen, they said my patches were too large for steroid injections, but prescribed me Dermovate ointment to rub into the patches twice a day. I did this religiously, and, miraculously, it did grow back, but then odd patches would come and go through the back of my head. It was bizarre, but luckily I still had a lot of thick hair which managed to cover the patches, so no one would know (unless it was windy!).

Alopecia Totalis

A skin condition that causes hair loss. It isn’t the same as localized alopecia areata. Localized alopecia areata causes round patches of hair loss on the scalp, but alopecia totalis causes complete baldness of the scalp.

Alopecia Ophiasis

A form of alopecia areata characterized by the loss of hair in the shape of a wave at the circumference of the head. It gets its name from “ophis”, which is the Greek word for snake, because of the apparent similarity to a snake-shape and the pattern of hair loss.

Things took a turn for the worse in 2011, a few months after my second son was born. The patches were more frequent and each one that developed seemed to join up to another one, thus turning into bigger patches, to the point where there was no hair at the sides or the back, just a silly mop on the top of my head. I couldn’t cope. My doctor referred me back to a dermatologist, who said it had progressed to Alopecia Ophiasis and once that had happened it would then turn into Alopecia Totalis. They did try me on a 6 week course of Prednisolone Steroids, but it didn’t work – it was hopeless. My endocrinologist I have to see yearly, following my Thyroid Cancer, to monitor my Thyroxine and Calcium levels said my hair loss could be contributed from my daily high dose of Thyroxine due to my Thyroidectomy.

I knew part of accepting female hair loss would be to start wearing wigs, something I really didn’t want to do. This carried on until 2016. It was my hairdresser who had, by chance, been given a wig from a friend who’d had cancer, lost her hair and no longer needed the wig. It was a nice wig, a similar style and colour to how I’d had my hair (it was Rene of Paris Tori in Maple Sugar) but the wig just felt so false. I thought everyone would know I was wearing a wig but, in reality, no one knew. A few months later, my mum wanted to buy me a better wig, so I found a wig shop near us, that was a room inside a hairdresser’s (not the best place to go!). I wanted to try on various wigs but I knew nothing really about the types of cap or the different fibres. It was a new subject and I was clueless.

We met the wig fitter, who took us to the room out the back. She listened to what I had to say and I took photos of how my hair was – she then brought out just three wigs, all similar, a synthetic wig for £400, an HD wig for £600 and a human hair wig for £1000! The experience wasn’t great, I didn’t really get the help I needed, and just felt awful inside, like I was losing myself. My mum wanted me to choose whatever I wanted, which was so kind. I went for the £600, a Gisela Mayer bob, which looked lovely, but still didn’t quite feel like me.

Our Wig Fitting Service

Just choose a date and time to come and have a chat with one of our friendly consultants, who will be able to advise and gently guide you at the beginning of your journey of accepting female hair loss. Pre-consultations are a great way to discuss all your queries and questions, that you may have before you actually purchase a wig. To help you in choosing the correct wig, all pre-consultations are by appointment only.

In July 2017 I was fed up of keeping my silly bit of hair I had left in the tiny bit of hope that my hair I’d lost would grow back so one hot evening, I got some scissors from the kitchen drawer and just cut the remainder off. My husband was a bit shocked but then shaved the rest off for me. I wasn’t upset like I thought I’d be, it felt ok. Although my youngest son at first hated my newly shaved head, after a while, he accepted it and he’s fine now, he knows I’m still me. I think it was difficult for my parents to see me like that. The following year, I wanted to get another wig, and on the Alopecia UK Facebook group found a lady based near me who again had a “room out the back” of a hairdresser’s for wigs. She informed me of the different types of wigs etc and I tried on loads but they all felt like “wigs”, not like me – they all had too much hair. Stupidly, I bought one. The lady said “it brought out my eyes” but in reality, it was awful – I looked like a Cher impersonator. I did go back to see this lady, as I wanted to try on more natural styles, like a bob, and I found one I really liked, and it was comfortable and looked natural. I bought it and went to the hairdresser who cuts my children’s hair and asked her if she would mind trimming it for me and adding a fringe, she agreed, and I now go to her every time I buy a new wig, I find it personalises it, so it’s not box standard.

Finding a wig I loved that felt like me was a key part of accepting female hair loss. Now I’d found a wig I love, I can order from Simply Wigs knowing that everything will be fine. I have even ordered a slightly different colour too. Unfortunately, that wig I once loved has now become discontinued, but I have found other bob styles that suit me. I am now also knowledgeable about all wigs and cap constructions and I know my favourite is a lace front, monofilament top, hand-tied synthetic cap! That fits and feels best for me.

“I’ve been wearing wigs for over 3 years now, and I feel ok wearing them, they have given me the confidence to live a “normal everyday life” with my husband and children. Don’t get me wrong, I still would love my hair to grow back, but my husband and children accept the way I look and I’ve come to terms with who I am now, I’m still me, I just have to think, I’m just now packaged slightly differently”.

At Simply Wigs, we know the journey leading you to wigs and accepting hair loss may have been long and difficult, and that is why we find it’s so important to cultivate our incredible, supportive community of wig-wearers. We’re grateful for every brave person who shares their story with us because accepting female hair loss can be difficult and emotional. If you have any questions or would like to book an appointment to meet with our friendly team, please don’t hesitate to contact us today.

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Comments

One thought on “Accepting Female Hair Loss

  1. I’ve always been very vain about how I look so losing my hair is tramatic for me! I know I’m going to need a wig, making rhe decision is the problem. I am a natural auburn and started dyeing it when grey started to show. I like a layered cut (like the shag) that is collar length. This is something I have dreaded for a long time!


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