The situation.
I am a probation officer. The work I do is demanding both in terms of volume and complexity and stressful due to the nature of the job which is working with dangerous high-risk offenders who have committed violent or sexual offences. I could cope with this stress but I could not cope with the bullying and harassment which I was subjected to by a manager. It was persistent and ongoing and included her making false allegations against me and also screaming and swearing at me in the workplace. I sought assistance from my union, other managers, the health care team, and my colleagues. There was none forthcoming. I was told she had always been a bully and that nobody had been able to challenge her. It also seemed as if people were frightened of her turning on them should they stand up and defend me. I gradually started to lose my hair.
The condition.
In about a year I had alopecia totalis universalis and had also lost my fingernails. I remember Christmas 2014 as being the lowest part of my life. I had lost all my hair and I was also immobile which I later found out was due to slipped discs in my lower back. All I wanted was a black sack to hide in. I started to look for support groups online but the one I did find did not seem to be in existence any longer.

The search.
My first attempt at finding a wig was at a local market. Needless to say, it did not make me feel any better. I eventually got to the point where I had been referred to dermatology and was offered wigs via the NHS. The first year I made the mistake of opting to go to a department store. I ended up with a frumpy wig that did not at all reflect who I was or what I used to look like. I searched the internet and found Simply Wigs and I ordered a rather expensive human hair wig that looked more like what I used to look like. I had some issues in finding somebody who could cut it for me as the regular hairdressers did not want to cut a wig. At the time my daughter attended college doing a beauty course. I was able to seek some guidance from one of her tutors on how to cope with putting on makeup and not worrying about not having any eyelashes. I went to the hairdressing part of the college where a tutor helped me to cut the wig (they did know me from when I had hair).
The support.
Following this, I had yearly referrals for a wig and I choose the service offered by the Hospital which was run by Shaun. I found out that I could pick any wig I wanted and it would be cut by him. Over the years I have come to trust Shaun and am looking forward to my yearly wig service. He is even cutting the wigs for me which I am getting from Simply Wigs which is fantastic. A few years ago I decided to have my eyebrows tattooed. My makeup skills were at best questionable and I tended to have one surprised and one angry eyebrow when I drew them on myself. My daughter was instrumental in helping me to find a reputable and good tattoo artist.
The coping.
Throughout I have had the support of my husband and 2 children as well as other family and friends. I have had very low points and I have still not fully managed to come to terms with my hair loss. What I have achieved is the ability to better cope with the practicalities. For example, when I go swimming I have a swim cap to hide my bald head. I am able to pick quality wigs which makes me feel better about myself. I buy my wig care products from Simply Wigs which helps me to maintain my wigs and keep them in a good condition.
The hoping.
Living with hair loss is difficult emotionally and also has some practical difficulties. With the help of those close to me, the NHS, and the Simply Wigs website I have managed to begin to cope with my hair loss and better manage the situation I am in.
Take care and love to you all,
Anna
x
You are a very brave lady and I’m glad you have now found strength to cope with your situation. I have had hair and eyebrow loss and I know how difficult it is. I wish you lots of joy and happiness as you continue your journey. xo
Brave lady in firstly standing up to bullies in the work place, ask Rishie for a job!! And so brave for speaking about your personal experience,it gives so much hope to people like me, god bless want to see you on the back benches next time I see you with your lovely hair do’s
Lindax
Thanks to you all for your lovely comments and care and concern.
Its surprising how many of you who have had similar experiences. You all made me feel fully supported which is a great feeling.
Again thanks for reading my story and for caring.
Love from Anna x
Am so sorry to hear of the bullying you endured. Bullying has a long term effect. Mine went on for years and slowly eroded my self confidence and affected me professionally. Chemo robbed me of my hair – it didn’t come back. I love my wigs and at least I dont have to mess around with hair dyes to cover the grey etc… wind in the winter is a prob. I use a headscarf or coat hood plus grips or tape can sort that one. And like u I wear a swim cap. But I hate communal changing rooms!! I too tattooed my eyebrows and dyed my eyelashes. Stops the chemo.look.
I wish you well….hairloss still remains a taboo subject so you are so brave opening up and posting your post. Big hugs xx
Hi Anna
I can totally sympathise with what you have been through. Many of your experiences mirror my own. I too had a stressful job with a bully of a managing director . I list all my hair , eyebrows , lashes etc seven years ago. Then also my fingernails and toenails. I have no solution other to say that over the years I have got more used to it although at times it’s so inconvenient . Holidays, staying over at peoples houses etc. Just to let you know you’re not alone in this . Take care x
Thanks for sharing your story. Stress does indeed play a part in triggering hair loss for some I’m sure.
Hi Anna , so sorry to hear of the difficult time that you have been through . I also have the same condition as you and have lost all my hair . Twelve years on , I have come to terms with it . It does have some advantages , such as you never have a bad hair day and it takes no time to be ready to go out !! I also lost 80% of my hair as a 13 year old, which took a year to grow back . I’ve had some very positive feed back about my wigs from simply wigs , have been asked which hairdressers do I use !!
Any way take care and I wish you all the best xxx
God bless you you are better than that person and you look lovely xx
Hi Anna I was so sorry to hear the problems you have had and your subsequent hair loss, my hair loss in comparison seems mundane. I found Simply Wigs to be the best source for hair loss advice and products but would like to tell you about an introduction course in counselling which really turned my life around, as part of that course we touched on assertiveness something in which I have always been lacking. Like you I came up against a supervisor who made my life a misery but after completing the course I realised that she no longer had any hold on me and strangely she then left me alone! I wish you well for the future. Love Tricia