I not only lost my hair, but I also lost my confidence

I not only lost my hair, but I also lost my confidence

I first started noticing my beautiful long hair going thin when I was 25. Up until then, I was a very happy, confident and outgoing person, the life and soul of the party.

I took a lot of care in my appearance and spent a lot of time and money on my hair. But that all changed when I started to lose it.


I not only lost my hair, I lost my confidence, my self-esteem, my identity and my feminity. I stopped taking care over my appearance which in turn I use to worry people would think she’s let herself go. I started to hide in the background and not want to go out. My whole life changed I was grieving and very low. I did not know one person who was going through what I was and unlike now, there was no Internet. So I felt very alone.
I was a nurse and could pile my hair up and cover the thinness under a hat. But the dreaded day came when nurses stopped wearing hats… Sensible yes but not for me and panic set in. Like many others I expect, I tried every pill and potion I could get my hands on and spent a fortune on trying them all. I went to Private clinics had some very odd treatments and parted with a lot of money and only had a sore head to show for it.
I started that awful process of grieving. I stayed in most of the time slapping some concoction on my head, hanging upside down wrapped in clingfilm until one day I decided to go to a very well respected GP I knew and what he said to me 25 years on I will never forget. Sarah, he said ” You are a very sensible person, stop wasting your money, buy a wig and get on with living your life” harsh I thought but I trusted him and so that’s what I did.
I was very close to my Grandma and she kindly said right I am taking you to Harrods in London to get you a wig. So that is where I ended up in what seemed at the time like a broom cupboard very small and cramped not at all how I imagined Harrods wig department would be. I was sat in front of a mirror looking at myself and then I started to cry it hit me how awful I looked.
My amazing Gran sensing my distress pushed me out of the chair and said I am going first so I then sat and watched as the very glamorous woman asked my Gran what she would like. My Gran said exactly the same as what I have. Which was very thick naturally curly brown short hair. The lady asked her why not something different? Again I will never forget her answer “why do you think, so I don’t have to waste time washing and brushing mine of course!” That was it my tears turned to laughter and I couldn’t stop. It was very rude I know but it made me feel so much better.
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It was then my turn and I sat again in front of the mirror this time watching tears of laughter rolling down my face. I choose a wig very similar to my own hair which was long ash brown and thick. I felt for the first time in ages myself it was an amazing feeling. We both then walked out in our new hair walking around London in stitches looking in the reflection of every window and mirror we could find. My Gran certainly knew how to make me laugh. Unlike my Gran, I looked after my wig. Hers was often on the wrong way and I don’t think she ever washed or brushed it but looking back I know she would of only ever wore it out with me.
I got up the next day an hour earlier at 5 am as I had to somehow had to put my hair up for on the ward not thinking of that when I choose it and believe me it took me that long with hair grips to do it.

So bravely I left the house on my own I thought everyone would look at me and point and laugh but no one did.


I walked on to the ward and a few of my close colleagues who I told said how nice my hair looked. As I gained more confidence I soon realised it would save me a lot of time if I wore a short wig when nursing and change when leaving the ward as there were a lot of people including some of my family I never told and even to this day don’t know I wear a wig. But I discovered coming in with long hair when in mufty and wearing short hair in uniform was confusing for the often already confused patients so I stuck to what I knew best my long hair in a low ponytail. I did have some funny moments in the ward. I once lost my hair while trapping it in the sluice door and again it falling off while helping a patient sit forward.
These moments I did what I do best and that is laugh. It truly is the best medicine. Over the years I did get on with my life, having a very successful career in nursing, and training, marrying, having children and many, many laughs along the way and all while wearing a wig! In January I slipped and fell over in Tescos. I had each arm filled with bags and I couldn’t move but my hair had twisted around covering my face. I could hear the lady saying I am a First Aider don’t worry… Which to me is always a worry! “Where is her face, I can’t find her face!?” I must admit I laugh every time I think of it even when I was sat in A&E in agony waiting for treatment, the thought of this poor lady not finding my face was hilarious.
I am not pretending if you are starting the journey with hair loss it is easy as it’s not there were days when I cried and cried. Moments when I felt so ugly but if you can try and find laughter in these times that is what you remember over the years and you will feel beautiful again and experience joy and the memories of having fun. When my Gran died it was that moment in Harrods that brought a smile to my face in sorrow. It’s always good to try and find the funny side of things however hard it may be and the positives. All those people worrying now about their roots and not being able to get to the hairdressers. How wonderful it is you can do your hair the day before it never ceases to amaze me the time saved in the morning.

We have much bigger worries like how we can make the most of creating happy memories now in life and in a wig you can do that you can live life to the full. Listening to my Dr’s advice was the best thing I ever did and I do feel so much more confident 25 years on and still get excited when I receive a new wig. I discovered Simply Wigs a few years ago and I would never buy from anyone else because they are quite simply the Best.

Stay Strong and stay safe
love Sarah
x

 

Comments

7 thoughts on “I not only lost my hair, but I also lost my confidence

  1. I lost my hair 11 and a half years ago to breast cancer.i was fine .i got a great wig.know i got diagnose with metastatic breast cancer and even though the quemo it is not like the first time, i m still loosing my hair. It is not as easy as then.i look at wigs,i said i will wait.maybe thinking maybe not all will fall .i guess im in denial.every time i brush it ,wash it i feel down.its so hard.

  2. Oh Sarah you are a breath of fresh hair! I have been struggling with my hair loss journey and I too have turned to Simplywigs who are simply marvellous, you made me laugh about your wig turning round and the lady not finding your face! You are so right about humour helping us get through it and it was a lovely inspiring story. Thank you so much and your gran sounds like she was a very remarkable woman who helped you face it. Xxx

  3. A really aggressive cancer 6yrs ago started my wig journey, tho my hair had been shedding for a long time b4 it’s discovery. Other health issues have been really getting me down & i realized , after Sarahs story, that i too have been ‘letting myself go’lately.So i think it’s time i washed a couple of my wigs(yep,i have loads,never found’the one’)Put some slap on & a mask and braved the supermarket.I think some new make up might be in order too,as my tiny bit of hair’s gone from chesnut to silver.Before i got so down,i’d embraced the silver-surfer look(great!) but hadn’t changed the make-up.Think some advice may be needed.Thanx Sarah, for giving me the push.

  4. I am 69 and since discovering Simply Wigs a few years ago, I am the happiest I have ever been. I adore my wigs, never miss having my own hair and have honestly never had a problem in strong winds. No more daily washing and styling, no more loads of hair products, no hair spray and, no hairdryer. What’s not to love.

  5. Absolutely agree with you. There are people who are far worse off. But sometimes it does get to you.
    I also don’t have a bad hair day, can be a bit dodgy on a windy day ?

  6. Sarah, you are a wonderful and inspiring lady. Yes, you are so right in saying that laughter helps. You need to keep your sense of humour. I’ve worn wigs for 24 years now due to alopecia and it still upsets me some days quietly on my own! However I will not allow self pity as when I look around at what others are enduring, I realise how ‘lucky’ I am. And..I never have a bad hair day! xx

  7. I too went to Harrods for my first wig 35 years ago and know exactly how you felt. I am now 76 still hope my hair will grow. Unless you wear a wig no one knows how it feels. All my friends know, but I do have moments when it’s very windy and I say to my friends ‘I’d better hang on to my hat’.
    Angela Cook


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