At age 41 I started slowly shedding my hair , literally strand by strand until the hoover and shower had consumed over two thirds of my untamed auburn mass of curls! I’d experienced several small patches of hair loss over the years but this time I had the feeling that a clever comb-over wasn’t going to hide the fact that I was going to lose the lot!
So 18 months later I found myself setting a date for The Big Shave.
As my job at the time was running a storytelling company for adults with a learning disability, I named the Campaign ‘Proud to be Different’. The money kept piling in for the charity until it reached £2,000 and on the big day I was almost euphoric and indeed proud to be different !
However, it didn’t take long before it dawned on me that most people didn’t recognise me in my headscarves and I was constantly greeted by concerned faces and even some who pretended they hadn’t seen me. My shave had been in the privacy of my home so very few people in my town knew the reason why I was suddenly sporting the scarved look!
Also, I was faced with the terrifying realisation that my eyelashes, eyebrows and body hair were also disappearing and that my hair loss might be permanent!
I couldn’t avoid it!
I felt as though I was treading water in a turbulent sea where a tidal wave was looming not too far ahead. So started the quest to stop being different, to find my former self and try to pretend I was okay! Who was I kidding?
‘I found a wonderful community of fellow warriors’.
After a few months of heartache, wasting money on dodgy wig-sites, I was pointed into the direction of Alopecia UK, a wonderful community of fellow warriors who shared with me their wisdom of reputable and caring wig suppliers. Enter Simply Wigs into my life and suddenly there was hope that maybe I could find the old Vicki after all!! I purchased one wig and then started to get a bit more confident exploring new colours and styles. I started to receive compliments from people on the street and was often asked who coloured my hair!
With renewed confidence I started trying to spin some positives out of my Alopecia. I’d always loved swimming ( head out the water like a turtle ) so decided to teach myself how to swim properly. In defiance of the menopause I took up outdoor swimming and realised in this environment I fitted in perfectly as everyone had to wear the club swim hat. The need to fit in prevailed despite everything I tried, but resilient I had become!!
So 10 years down the line.
I’m not going to pretend that everything is all rosy and that I’ve embraced my alopecia. That tidal wave still looms ahead, but maybe the frequency of it has lessened and my treading water has improved!
Sometimes out of the blue, without any warning I get a day like today when I feel totally overwhelmed– my eyeliner won’t stay on, my wig needs replacing and I curse that the only hair on my entire body is above my lip!! But the difference is I know this day will pass, that the tidal wave will move on and tomorrow I will connect with others on the Alopecia Facebook page and ask their advice on new wigs and a more waterproof eye liner pencil.
I know that in writing this, I might be helping someone else move forward in their hair loss journey. My advice would be NEVER let anyone trivialise your hair loss or place you in the vanity category. Our hair is a big part of our identity and losing it is an enormous deal, whether male or female, young or old. But you are not alone and you won’t find a more supportive community than the Alopecia one.
Love Vicki x
Read more stories from our
Simply Wigs community.
Androgenetic Alopecia
My Alopecia Story.
Frontal Fibrosing Alopecia.
Comments (5)
Vicki you look fabulous, love the colour xx
Well done Vicki, am proud to be your friend and I didn’t even know you had a problem until you told me. Those of us who have had chemo can understand what you went through. Keep smiling, lots of love Mo.xx
You look fantastic, I love the colour of your hair
Thank you, Vikki. Your story has most definitely helped me. Lizzie x
Hi Vicki
I just wanted to say well done and thank you for sharing. Full admiration to you. I can only imagine how you must have felt.
My story is slightly different but being a crossdresser/Transgender, my hair is thin anyway as a male so obviously when I’m I n my female mode I have to rely on wigs.
I too have had my story published on here under the section we that wear wigs. It is only a few below your article titled I can finally be me.
Anyway, I just wanted to say well done and think that you look fantastic. It really suits you and looks so natural.
Thales care
Steph
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