Supporting transgender / gender variant people

Supporting transgender / gender variant people

“ Life is not a problem to be solved
but a reality to be experienced ”

As a counsellor/psychotherapist and gender variant consultant who has been working and supporting transgender/ gender variant people over the last 18 years, I recognise that the decision to transition is huge and can be fraught with challenges that are not obvious in the first instance. Problems demand successful solutions, to avoid knocks to one’s self-confidence. As a transsexual woman who crossed the gender border to live full time many years ago,
I can speak from experience.
Madison-Amy Webb (MBACP)


Confidence is Key

Over the years I’ve trained many professionals in how to support gender variant people transition. The one thing which comes up time and time again, is that stepping over the gender border, either full-time in the case of transsexuals, or part-time in the case for cross-dressers, the fundamental requirement for a positive experience is self-confidence. This is having & maintaining the courage of your convictions and knowing that the process is not for the fainthearted! Having said that getting a look that you feel good with and which suits is really important, and that means getting the best products which your budget allows. This will certainly help to mitigate some of the unexpected glitches, should they arise.

Bewildering terminology

Before saying anymore let us clarify some of the terms, because this can sometimes cause confusion:

Transgender or trans, gender variant – means the same thing. This is a general umbrella term, applied to a variety of individuals and behaviours. People are not transgender, but how they specifically identify and how they do it, is a form of transgender this includes, but is not exclusive to transsexuals, cross-dressers, genderqueer, non-binary.

Transsexual– this is a condition where an individual identifies with a gender inconsistent or not culturally associated with their birth sex. A medical diagnosis can be made (gender dysphoria) if the person experiences discomfort as a result of the desire to be a member of the opposite sex. They may wish to take hormones to change some aspects of their body and choose to undergo Sex Reassignment Surgery.

Cross-dressing – wearing clothing commonly associated with the opposite sex within that respective society. This is usually a part-time activity, usually for social reasons.

Transition – the social, psychological, emotional and economic processes that a transsexual person undergoes to move from their assigned gender role into their acquired gender. The time this takes is variable and depends on the individual’s ability to embrace significant change in their life. If seeking medical assistance, the individual will have to undergo a so called “Real Life Test” i.e. living in the acquired gender role for a minimum of 1 year. Transitioning is often referred to “Living full time” however that will vary from person to person. Once you begin stepping out into the big wide world you have “Come Out!”

Tales of the Unexpected

One surprising detail that’s unexpected about taking HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy), is that for some transsexual woman (myself included) the taking of oestrogen doesn’t guarantee that their head hair will suddenly become a luscious mane and enable them to achieve the fabulous look of their dreams (increase in hair growth is a stated effect of taking oestrogen). I discovered that I had a hair type which just doesn’t respond to the commencement of oestrogen, and it will remain disappointingly short and underdeveloped. This is for many transsexual women devastating news as they have to come to terms that getting that feminine image they want, means being a wig wearer for the rest of their life and that is something many transsexual women just hadn’t expected to have to do.

The other thing I see time and time again with some gender variant people who begin venturing outside, be that now living full time, or socialising, is that sometimes they may not have access to a trusted friend, family member, or confidante with whom they can seek realistic and appropriate advice on matters such as self-image including clothes, makeup and of course their hair. They may have to make decisions on these important matters without input, and the wrong choice can set confidence back.
I totally appreciate we all have to be realistic and live within our financial means, but it saddens me when I see some transsexual women having spent good money on poorly made wigs (usually from China) and this can have a negative impact on their overall look, which as we know impacts on that all-important self-confidence.

Seek Advice

Wherever you buy your products if you have questions, ask for assistance. Gender variant people have a much more visible profile these days and not only are there laws to ensure that discrimination is avoided, and their rights are ensured, lots of businesses which provide products and services that gender variant people might want to buy, are more than happy to answer questions regarding their products. My rule of thumb is if they don’t seem inclined to help you by making sure you get the answers you require for the product your enquiring about, take your money elsewhere. Reputable and considerate retailers will be trans friendly.

In terms of wig buying,these following points are a good starting point:

•  Measure your head. Wigs come in Petite/Average or Large, so it is important to get the right size.
•  Cap construction, Wefted wigs are the most affordable. They also have the most stretch and give, so if you are top end of Average/Large, a Wefted Average may be a solution.
•  Colour is very important. Take into consideration the tones against your skin. Too dark are sometimes too harsh, so the softer tones are more naturally looking.
•  Length of the style against your face. Take a good look at your face and judge what shape you are.
•  Consider are you looking for a natural style, or you are looking for the wow factor.
•  Look after your wig. If you look after it, it will last.

Final Thoughts

If the above doesn’t cover your queries, the lovely team at “Simply Wigs” will be very happy to answer any questions that you may have in terms of getting the right wig and the right look. I have been a customer for several years and have always been happy with the service I have received.
Taking that first step out into the world looking like you have always felt inside, is an amazing experience. I will say to clients working up to that step to plan, prepare, and be realistic. Getting the right products for you will mean you feel confident and if you feel confident you will look natural.

transitions councilingArticle by:
Madison-Amy Webb (MBACP) Accred

Counsellor – Psychotherapist
WPATH Member
(World Professional Association for Transgender Health)
Please get in touch: EMAIL WEB www.transitionscounselling.co.uk


Comments

4 thoughts on “Supporting transgender / gender variant people

  1. Thank you very much for your enquiry. Becca, our Customer Services Manager will be in touch later today.

  2. Good Afternoon. I am a case manager who is currently working with a Transgender lady who is in Prison. I would like to ask if you are able to make a wig donation. I am able to give more information on her circumstances without breaching any confidential information if you would like to email me.

  3. Hello I’m Jonathan / but soon after 40 yrs of confusion, shame and been scared too transition but now I finally feel 2020 is the perfect time too come out as
    Jo.

    As as from 21-7-2020 @ 20:20pm I will for the 1st time transition. ?????. I would love for any help with getting a couple of wigs and some pretty adult size 8 dresses leggings, and possibly footwear size 8 and under wear. I’m currently on lockdown (covid19) from my Gp as I have health condition so i can’t go to town etc. Any help no matter how small will be greatly appreciated and will be with me on this new exciting life I’m going to be living. Please get in touch with me on +44 7514 745858. Thank you so very much.
    Yours thankfully
    Jo

  4. im transgender…full time
    im really pleased that simply wigs have added this blog to their site ..its a great help to ” our” community to know that professional organisations care about out problems and look to find solutions..thank you
    i consulted simply wigs some time ago about wig wearing and running / gym work and swimming….im happy to say that with their advice and that of others i can now continue my interests in running and keeping fit ,in my transitioned role and wearing a wig !! im happy to pass on anything ive learned !!
    thanks simply wigs and thanks Madison-Amy


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