Hello again.
I have had Androgenetic Alopecia since my early twenties which you can be read about in an earlier article I wrote, entitled I not only lost my hair I lost my confidence.
Its been progressive over the years and where the hair follicles have been destroyed it’s now irreversible. Although I can’t lie and say it’s been an easy road as it’s certainly had its challenges but it has made me who I am now.
BEING MYSELF
So for nearly 30 years, I have worn wigs. For many years up until recently, I wore Diamond (from the Gem collection) a long human hair wig which was hand-tied with a lace front. As lovely as it was I could never put it up due to the weight and not being able to secure it to my head, so I made do having it tied in a low ponytail to the side to balance the weight.
When I look back over the years it saddens me that in every photo taken other than a few more wrinkles, I always looked the same. It became that I was not brave enough to change my style for fear of drawing attention to myself and my hair.
At times I could have screamed with my hair hanging around my face. It was also very uncomfortable to wear in hot weather. I become paranoid that people would think that I was hiding behind my hair when in fact I had previously loved wearing my bio hair up, either choosing a messy bun, french plait, or french pleat.
EXtensive hairloss
My hair loss was too extensive for a topper so I resigned myself to always having to wear my hair down, as not wanting to change to a shorter style.
That was until recently when daring to be vulnerable I shared my story with a very special friend who then gave me the confidence and courage to be brave and to change my hairstyle after over 25 years.
Joy is the simplest form of gratitude – Karl Barth
WITH SOME HELP FROM MY FRIENDS
So, with the help and advice from Simply Wigs, I choose Stevie as she is long like Diamond, but has a fringe. I basically use her as a topper. I have sewn in hair clips at the front and incorporating the very small amount of my bio hair I have around the edges of my scalp enables me to put my hair up again. Stevie is open wefted so I can secure her with hair grips and use a butterfly clip to put hair up in a pleat. This takes seconds to do but quite simply although it must sound crazy, it has truly been life-changing for me. I now can look in the mirror and see the old me and Stevie never fails to make me smile.
I have been absolutely delighted with her an excellent choice for a long wig, very good quality and beautiful colours. Stevie has a monofilament top allowing her to be parted however you choose to style her. She has so much versatility and can lay flat or be given body depending on how you feel. Along with being able to be cut and styled to your own personal needs, she can also be simply worn straight out of the box.
Not only does my hair now feel secure for the first time, I no longer fear low branches or strong winds and it’s so much cooler and comfortable when hot. But for me, the biggest change is I feel so much happier when I am wearing her.
As a nurse, I am close up to and see many patients. I can honestly say at least two people each day will make a nice comment about my hair and say how elegant or beautiful it looks which now I happily accept rather than change the subject as I used to.
Having always loved being a woman and love being feminine my hair now again matches how pre-alopecia.
I choose to look which brings me great joy.
LIVING LIFE
I urge anyone who has not yet been able to confide in someone, to be honest as by being vulnerable you will strengthen your connections and gain the courage you never could have imagined you would ever have had and like I could change your life for the better. It sounds silly to say but had I not been I know I would have spent the next 25 years as I had the last 25 years not comfortable with how I felt when I looked in a mirror.
Be brave, and try different colours and styles so you too can find a style that makes you happy.
MY COLOUR ADVICE
As I now have Stevie in Toasted brown. I would recommend going for a highlighted colour if using it as a topper as I do. It blends in much better.
I love marble brown as my first choice as it allows me to show a little bit of my natural grey which oddly I am proud of as it’s all mine and age-appropriate! I have no desire to dye it as my grey is precious to me.
It’s amazing how a slightly different shade can either complement your skin or drain it. As I have got older going lighter has looked better on me. Although my bio hair is a very dark ash brown I have discovered that having a warm caramel tone, has complimented my skin.
Had Simply Wigs not been so great with their help, advice and easy service I would have never discovered and stuck to the same dark colour. Once again I am very grateful to them.
I am also grateful I have had this experience in my life as it has made me who I am. We all have our vulnerabilities, some visible and some not. Each fighting our own battles but through showing kindness to each other we never know the difference we can make in other people’s lives.
I will always be grateful for the love and kindness shown to me, and I sincerely hope you all find a wig that brings you great joy too.
Love, Sarah xxx
I was so much impressed by your story, and the fact you are so open about it all. I dealt with the same and doctors help helped me and a simple product to be fair. You can see it at the Hairlosssshop.info
good luck
Hi Paddy,
I hope by sharing your story it has helped you. I previously did bereavement counselling and one thing I learnt was unexpressed emotions, just get buried alive and they can resurface in unpleasant ways.
So keep talking and being kind to each other.
Thank you to all the other people who have taken time to leave a review.
I truly appreciate its never easy to loose hair and it is a bereavement and does take time and sometimes you can never get to acceptance but however hard it is remember you are not alone there is a huge supportive community out there so reach out to it and try and cultivate an attitude of gratitude as that can really help too.
Take care of yourselves everyone and thank you once again for taking the time to read.
Sarah xxx
Sarah,
You look lovely !
I have had Aloepecia for 30 years.
When I first felt awful and totally drained, I was told that nothing was wrong. Two years later and a new GP I finally got into to see, it was confirmed my Thyroid was inactive and I had Coksackie virus many times. My hair had already fallen out, I was totally bald over all my body and my confidence was non existent. I had a fantastic husband and wonderful family but the loss of my hair was almost as devastating as when I had lost my first child at birth, when she should have been delivered by C Section.
I got permanent make up done. . At least I had eyebrows and eyeliner; it made a huge difference. I was introduced to the Rabbis wife who had a wig business in catering for the married women in the temple who wear Sheikels for religious reasons. I bought my first wigs from Marilyn. All human hair as I am very rough with synthetic wigs. They frizzle etc etc.
As the years went by, my son became my wig purchaser over the internet. I was incredibly blessed in that my elder daughter had qualified as a Hair Stylist and colour specialist. Although at first she was nervous she cut styled and coloured my human hair wigs. In the end we no longer used blow drying at all but just a hair iron once the hair was dry.
My husband was killed in a plane crash almost 14 years ago and of course the family was completely shattered. I had lost the person who knew me totally. I had also been very shy about sharing my condition with anyone but closest friends and family.
Years start to enable the sharing more easily. This is my story from South Africa. I was also blessed in that I had a Wig Maker down the road literally, who also purchased wigs if need be, but more importantly was able to repair and reweave a piece when it was viable. Medical Aid did not cover ANY treatment at all, although Cancer patients do get cover. Alopecia sufferers do not have a life threatening condition !!!
After 8 years after my husband was killed I did start seeing someone who had nursed his longtime partner through cancer. He was also a family friend and knew me well for many years . He was aware of the wig wearing scenario. Things came to a conclusion and I was totally resigned to being a traveling Mom/Gran between my children in Canada, Scotland and South Africa.
Then after getting back on Facebook which I had not bothered about for years, I connected with an old friend of my brothers and found myself falling in love at the ripe old age of 65. We wanted to meet as soon as possible and he got me across to the UK. We are going to be married with my youngest daughter in Scotland in about 4 weeks. He is a wonderful man and I totally comfortable with him.
However missing my elder daughter doing and touching up my wig, I do feel lost. I went to a local hair salon and explained how to wash dry and iron my hair, but since then the front section of my wig has been losing ALOT of hair.
I jumped on the internet to research local wig makers and repair centres only to find that I will have to post my wig to London. I am in Devon and the last thing I want to do is put my wig in the post. PLEASE if anyone knows a repair centre near Okehampton let me know.
I have never shared my story before, mainly because it is a very unusual condition and unfortunately very misunderstood.
Sarah, you helped me to share this for the first time.
I have read all of your articles Sarah and found them to be so honest and encouraging which has given me the strength to tell a close friend that I wear a wig. Without the articles I don’t think I could of told anyone , now I feel that I can tell other people you have given me the strength to do so . I can only thank you Sarah not only for helping me but I am sure helping other people along their journey .
I wish more people could be more honest as Sarah has been about wearing a wig as those of us who do know who it feels , the fear of it coming off always being aware that perhaps people are looking at you even when there not .I have suffered over the years now I feel I can move on.
Thank you Sarah for sharing you story .
I have androgenic alopecia too, and wear toppers mostly and an occasional wig. I do feel more confident and more comfortable with toppers. You look great Sarah and I do agree with you it’s a good idea to share your story with friends x
I am so proud to be one of Sarah’s friends and until recently I had no idea that she wore a wig. I was so pleased that she trusted me enough to tell me after knowing her for many years which most of taken a great deal of courage. The strength it takes to be so open about this matter just goes to show what a lovely caring person Sarah is.I hope people who read this article get the strength to tell someone close to them and be as open as Sarah has been.
They say ‘unless you walk in someone’s shoes you cannot know what it’s like’ and that’s very true . Well done Sarah
Sarah, you look lovely, how you wear your hair really suits you.
I daresay for many ladies, their hair is an integral part of their beauty and it must be devastating to begin losing it. You project huge inspiration through your writing and I hope many a lady will find the confidence to speak up and share their experiences and help those really struggling.
Good luck to all you ladies mirroring Sarah’s journey. I hope you rediscover yourselves through sharing your story and finding what suits with you best whether it is complete baldness on display or a beautiful wig.
Either way, I hope you find your own beauty and confidence.
I still can’t get my head around how amazing & natural these wigs look. Sarah, I hope you continue to stand tall, proud & brave xx