It’s well documented the psychological effects of hair loss and it’s no surprise particularly as a woman to lose her crown and glory, that you can also lose your self-esteem, your confidence, your social life and your femininity. This can at times have a devastating impact, at best cause anxiety and at worst suicide. But along with some of those feelings, I also felt guilt and at times shame.
At a time when there was very little support you just had to get on with it and deal with it as best you could, in my case I choose to keep it a secret which led to those feelings of guilt and shame.
I wasted huge amounts of time and money on the hope of cures which were often very painful and made no difference. I decided to take the advice of a very sensible Dr who suggested that I should start wearing wigs.
I have now worn wigs for over 25 years due to Androgenetic alopecia.
I felt shame and guilt throughout my hair loss journey.
So why do I no longer feel guilty or ashamed?
I dared to be vulnerable. Vulnerable meant that I could be honest with myself and others, no longer having to carry the shame and guilt. Shame and guilt are not nice to have in any shape or form and can weigh you down but only by daring to be vulnerable and honest can you experience true joy, true trust and true love.
So for someone who started this journey over 30 years ago, who tried to deal with it alone, who never had the opportunity to talk to anyone about how they were feeling I dare you to be vulnerable and its only then you can appreciate the true worth of friends and family.
When I first saw the Alopecia Flash mob in Liverpool dancing to Your True colours I cried and cried as I realised why I always felt guilty and ashamed and that was because I never had shown my true colours. I had kept it all in as a secret I didn’t want to share and that is why I felt so sad for all those times I didn’t have the courage to go out, sad for all the times I didn’t want to go swimming with my girls , sad for never being able to share the good and bad times with family and close friends.
But now I feel so grateful that others experiencing hair loss have so much support and the Simply Wigs community are absolutely amazing in raising awareness and getting people like me to realise you are not defined by your loss of hair and you are worthy because you are simply just you.
So don’t be like me wasting years living with guilt and shame reach out as there is so much help now and you never need to feel alone.
Take care of yourselves, love Sarah x
Happy and proud to be a wig wearer
Why o why do we feel ashamed of our hair loss After all it’s not something we wished on our selves if we had a artificial leg or arm we would not be ashamed so why do we get those feeling when it’s artificial hair I’m now comfortable with my hair loss but it’s taken quite a few years so I do say in all honesty it does get easier take care x
Thank you for sharing your life story about your hair loss, it must of been hard for you over the years .You are a beautiful caring person .I know your story will help many people .x
As a friend of Sarah’s I was very touched a few years ago when she shared with me that she had Alopecia and that she wore a wig. I think the conversation began with me complimenting her on her beautiful hair yet again! I realised how much courage that must of taken her when she explained she didn’t tell many people. As her friend it’s made me admire Sarah even more. She is an amazingly strong and talented lady who shows great understanding and empathy to others… attributes she has used in her work for the NHS giving Covid vaccinations. Sarah hasn’t let her hair loss hold her back or define her… she is strong and courageous and is beautiful on the inside and outside.
Sarah,
What a truly inspirational woman you are! Not only sharing your story but opening up about your guilty feelings and vulnerabilities. By opening up, you will help others to see that their feelings are real and can relate to the complexities of how you feel. Your wig wears on you beautifully! Beautiful lady!
Love Sadie xx
Thank you for sharing your inspiring story and highlighting the complexity of feelings and experiences we all go through x
Thank you so much for daring to be vulnerable & trusting me with your story, you are truly inspirational! Hayley xx
Thank you for sharing. You’ve reinforced my view that you need to be upfront and honest from the start if you’re really going to be relaxed and enjoy wearing wigs. I don’t see any difference in putting on my wigs than putting on my specs (and I have several different styles and colours of both!)
Sarah….what beautiful words here…and you’re so right, vulnerability is always the way through, in any area…
Thank you so much for writing this..
You look gorgeous….
Linda…. x
Hi Sarah,
I have felt a lot of the same feelings that you have spoken about.
I especially feel fake, because i am a very casual person I dont wear make up, so when i put a wig on i feel this is not me, but i love how it makes me feel. I am most definitly going to try my best to enjoy, embrace and be grateful that wigs have come a long way. Thanks for sharing your story Sarah. Thanks Simply Wigs got a great bargain black Friday. sue x
I’m another one who can totally appreciate where you’re coming from. There are close friends who know about my 20 year journey, and people I wanted to tell but am now so glad I didn’t. That’s me all over, private but inside really wishing I had the guts to be a sod it all Sally. I even wear a short, same colour style and wish I could go back to even a longer hair style but feel I’d have to open up to new friends and colleagues as to why I’ve suddenly had hair growth!! Thanks for sharing x
Hi Sarah’ I have felt most of those guilt trips you have felt. Guilty is my middle name. I always feel that if people look at me’ they can see I wear a wig..everyone who knows I wear a wig say well you cant tell that you do .. That makes me feel better.I am afraid I take too much notice of what people think’ instead of being grateful for having the chance to wear a wig. Simply wigs have changed my life every wig I have purchased has been lovely.I am going to try and take a leaf out of your book and enjoy wearing a wig and not making my life miserable because of my hair loss. Thank you for you’re story. Jan x
I felt the same as you
And all you comments sounded just like me
Have worn a wig for 40yrs
and to be honest now I don’t care who knows it’s my life
Take care and thanks for your storyx