It’s all too easy to focus on the negative sides of alopecia, or indeed wearing a wig for other reasons. ‘Worrying about collar rub‘, whether it will look ‘wiggy’ on a windy day, and making sure your wig doesn’t slip when you’re playing sport can eat up all our mental energy some days. Steph has written a great blog about some of those topics, so if those things are bothering you do check out her gym article here. But there are some upsides too and as one of Simply Wigs’ residents Pollyannas I thought it was worth writing them down to remind us all that it’s not all bad news when you lose your hair.
The ‘upsides’ of alopecia
1. Smooth skin & less shaving
Now obviously the extent to which you have lost your hair depends on which type of hairloss you have. If you have alopecia universalis (which I do) you will also have lost your body hair, and for me, that is actually a big bonus! I haven’t had to even think about shaving my legs and underarms for most of my adult life, other than for the few months when a few baby hairs returned. I’m really grateful for that; no stubble rash, no sore skin from shaving, and nice smooth skin (at least, when I can be bothered to moisturise).
2. Changing wig style
Another big benefit of hair loss for me has been that I’ve been able to go for bold changes of styles without that fear of hating my new style and having no way back. I once went from a waist-length straight brown style to an ear-length curly black style! If that had been my own hair I’d never have had the nerve to risk doing it, then possibly hating it. But when you wear a wig you can always change it back if you don’t like it, and there’s little harm done.
3. Choosing your lashes and brows
Some of us are blessed with naturally well-shaped and defined brows (lovely friend V, I’m looking at you), and some of us just . . . aren’t. But those of us who’ve lost our brows can play around to our heart’s content until we find the brow shape which frames our faces to perfection. Similarly with lashes – with no real lashes to get in the way we can experiment with shadow, liner and false lashes to find a great look without having to work around pesky real lashes which can get in the way. We can also wear light, natural-looking lashes by day and glam it up in the evening with barely 5 mins to spare – light lashes off, slick of eyeliner, vampy lashes on – done!
4. A styled look with minimal effort
If you’ve ever had hair you’ll remember the frustration of bad hair days when nothing you did make your hair go right. Well, we wig wearers never have to suffer that! We can choose styles which give us flexibility over parting placement, fringe pushed forwards or back and so on, without ever having to compromise on volume or shape. Our hair can look flat and smooth, or styled and bouffant, exactly as we choose and with hardly any effort required. A quick comb and shake in the morning, wig placed on the head and a bit of fingertip styling, and we’re done. Whilst our natural-tressed friends spend ages washing and blow-drying every morning, we get an extra half hour in bed. I don’t know about you, but for me, that counts as a major win.
5. Washing it less often
I’m kind of lazy when it comes to personal grooming and I love anything which saves me time. So only having to wash my wig once a week is brilliant! I know all the guidance says every fortnight but I find my wig needs a wash once a week at least, as I wear it for long days scurrying around different cities and often getting a touch damp of scalp as I dash from meeting to meeting. Plus city pollution seems to cling to the fibres – I find that if I’ve been in London for the week my wig feels dirtier than if I’ve been at home in rural Wales. But regardless, whereas friends and colleagues do daily battle with shampoo and hair dryers I just do the bathroom sink swoosh once a week and that’s my lot.
I hope don’t think I’m minimising the challenges some of you are facing in accepting your hair loss, I know how hard it can be to deal with and I understand it might be difficult to see anything positive in it for you. But I genuinely do believe that it’s worth appreciating the upsides, however small they seem, and finding that glimmer of a silver lining in the clouds whenever you’re feeling low. It’s all baby steps towards accepting yourself as you are right now and being happy in yourself. Plus it’s quite a buzz when you make a friend who has their own hair jealous of your wig for all the reasons above!
Please let me know your thoughts in the comments below.
I hope this helps you walk tall and bouff your gorgeous wig with confidence as you head out the door tomorrow, As always, Let me know your positive thoughts in the comments below,
Lots of love, Lizzie
There is no such thing as a pesky real eye las imo. Ok – agree with smooth legs (reminder to self: be careful what you wish for!) and armpits
Hello, I’m sure lots of women have this problem but I haven’t seen anything posted. So here goes – what do you do at night time? I don’t want my husband to see me completely bald so can you wear an old wig at night and how do you secure it. Also if you go into hospital what do you do, there again can you wear an old wig?
Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated.
I also miss my eyelashes
and struggle with false ones … my efforts are both comical and frustrating! Having my eyebrows micro-bladed, really added definition to my face. They’ve faded after several years, leaving a faint guide line which is easy to follow with Wonderbrow. I’m saving up to have them done again!
I really don’t know how I would cope with hair again! Great article-I have had alopecia universalis for 22 years and agree with all the comments too. Wigs have improved so much in that time and are soo much easier! I love my smooth skin but would also love to be able to grow my eyelashes back..
Sending love to anyone starting to cope with all this-it’s hard but there really are upsides!
Totally agree with the positive comments. At the end of day, we have a choice about only 1 thing – how we react to this condition. I’ve had alopecia for over 30 years now. I miss eyelashes the most but have stopped wearing false ones, mainly due to laziness. I had my eyebrows tattooed on by a brilliant semi permanent makeup artist and love the ease I now have with these. Other bonuses for me – taking wig off when hot, when applying foundation or to have a good head scratch. Baby soft skin everywhere and not having to spending hours in a hairdresser’s to get a new cut or colour.
Hi Linda, l have had total hair loss for 17 years, and, like you, l am in my 70’s
I have solved the problem of no eyebrows and lashes, by having semi permanent tattoos. The brows and eyeliner look completely natural and l wouldn’t be without them!
If you can, it’s well worth the money, Plus no more worrying about any makeup!
Hi so glad that alopetia is fine for you but unfortunately that does not help me.I have total hair loss as you say wigs are fine but my problem is at 70yrs old I can’t get to grips with false eye lashes or eye brows so with out these it is impossible to apply any makeup so when I go out I just feel so uncomfortable.can you help.
I always love Lizzie’s reviews and comments because she tells it like it is and is always very natural and matter of fact and we all, as wig wearers , need to feel an element of normality .
I like you lost all my hair 20 years ago, I hated myself for quite a while, until I started thinking about all the upsides. The downsides I find are hot weather drys them out a lot and makes them brittle, also that at towards the end of the day I can’t wait to take them off. I am not young like you and I look so old without wigs . I won’t even let my husband see me without .
I agree with all of your comments. I’ve now had alopecia totalis for 50 years. At first it was utterly traumatic and wigs were just awful. Now I get compliments all the time from strangers. I’d still love to be able to swim without resorting to a swim cap but I do have eyelashes again, and I had my brows micro bladed. I’ve been regularly onstage and outgoing right throughout this experience. You get one life, just get the wig you live and get on with it!
Being a 60’s teenager i wore false eyelashes as a fashion statement then so I was used to wearing them when I lost mine.
Really miss them and my eyebrows even now
Tip for fixing lashes — eyeliner and eye shadow on first. then a line of glue along the eyeliner- this will start to dry whilst you apply glue to the lashes.
Allow to dry for a few seconds then apply,looking slightly down into your mirror and attatch the middle or inner corner first.
This way they attatch straight away and do not slide all over the place
Like Jayne above I have always said I would much prefer my eyelashes to grow than my hair – I always had long eyelashes and miss them – and I always think they are a bit of a ‘give away ‘ with me – but will try false eyelashes and see how I get on !
Love all the above comments, I have alopecia and am coping well with wigs,but in the last 3 weeks facial hair has appeared at an alarming rate, I have actually had to shave it off !! ,is this normal?
Gosh what lovely comments! Thank you so much everybody, it’s lovely to hear your own positive thoughts about wigs and hairloss.
Katherine and Hilary – yes I absolutely agree that having lovely well groomed hair makes a difference professionally. I feel grown up and professional in my well-constructed bob, and I feel it helps me look the part at work. Any help I can get in that department is welcome!
Teresa and Linda – oh yes, a sense of humour helps no end! I once had a wig fly off when my dog unexpectedly bolted on the lead and jarred me so hard I almost went flat on my face. Cue my wig doing an impression of a frisbee and landing a several feet ahead of me in the middle of town. Thankfully it was early morning and few people were around, but being able to laugh at myself really helped me deal with that one with aplomb.
Jayne, Cynthia and Henrie – I know what you mean, I’d love to have my own lashes back too, it would be a lot easier. But I’ve found that practice makes perfect with falsies. I love Henrie’s image of ending up with them on your nose! I have managed to get one up by my eyebrow on occasion… But I’ve got a lot better at dealing with the fiddly little blighters in the 6 months since I started using them and I wouldn’t be without that option now as I have small eyes and they really help open up my face
Elaine – Yes I do that too. It’s one of the downsides when I switch styles, as I like having an old one available so if I do something dreadful to my nice wig I’ve got an old one in the same style to change into. I travel a lot for work and there’s always a scruffy old wig tucked in my suitcase in case of emergency. I reckon that would give any customs official searching my suitcase a fright!
I completely agree with all the above. I always have 3 wigs on the go. The newest for best, an everyday one and then an old grotty one for swimming, running or messy work such as decorating. I love being able to do a lightening change when going out and just grabbing my new wig to pop on so I can look spruce in seconds, when everyone else needs an age! An expert at a talk some years ago said, (although I don’t know whether it was ever proved) that people with alopecia often have stronger immunity, which could be a plus if true!
I don’t usually participate in any online forums, but this just chimes. I miss eyelashes the most as well. I don’t know how anyone manages to stick falsies on without one ending up across the bridge of your nose…. I settle for eyeliner when I can be bothered. The main upside of alopecia is smooth skin. Also, even though I spend a lot of my hard earned money on expensive real hair wigs, my friends spend at least as much, if not more having hair cuts and colours. I’ve had alopecia universalis for 33 years. Changing from NHS wigs to buying my own choice was the best thing I ever did.
Katharine, you are so right about people treating you with more respect when your hair looks great. Imagine this – I am a professional performing classical pianist, on show in front of audiences. How could I possibly do this without wearing a wig, suffering as I do from genetic alopecia?! I used to find that when I went shopping in town, people would treat me as if I were some unkempt kind of tramp, the way they looked at and spoke to me. They would have been amazed to learn that I had a profession (and probably not believed me). I now have bags of confidence and command respect when going about my daily business. Wigs have saved my life.
Thank you so much for the wonderful positive thoughts. I have medical hair loss and have lost 90% of my hair. A sense of humor has been the biggest plus. I had a wig fall off while teaching a yoga class. Instead of being mortified, I laughed, and so did all of my students. I especially love the fact that I don’t have to fight my baby fine, curly hair daily! And that I can go from straight to curly, blonde to black, short to long in seconds. We rock!! Oh, I live in Wyoming, USA, so double sided tape is a must when the wind blows! Which is often.
I Do agree with Lizzie and Michelle on their ways of coping with hair loss. I have alopecia universalis since I was 18 and now in my 60’s and while wigs have improved no end since I first had them it did take me a long time to accept the condition. It’s basically Brows and Lashes that I wish would grow, as I like to have fringes and quite often hair does get into my eyes which is extremely painful so I wonder how do other people deal with this unless they wear headbands etc. or no fringes. Lashes do prevent this as they protect eyes but I cannot get on with false lashes at all. I am taking Michelle’s blog on brows with interest and ordered the Ellen Wille brow set in brown to try out.
Being able to take my ‘hair’ off on a hot summer’s evening to cool down is definitely a bonus!
This is all so true. I have had alopecia totals for 45 years since I was 13 and I often think how I would cope with real hair after all this time . If I could have a choice of hair in one place I would choose to have my eyelashes grow back.
What does everybody else think .
Love this!! I was diagnosed with Alopecia earlier this year and am relatively new to wigs but completely agree with all the above!
How good that Lizzie should write this article – brilliant. I have had alopecia universalis for 35 years and can endorse all she writes. I just wish to add a sense of humour gets you out of what could be embarrassing wig situations. If you laugh most people will join in with you. So yes enjoy all the positives of the condition and shrug off any negatives!
Love this article, Lizzie x it is fab!!!!
Absolutely agree with all of this Lizzie. I have only recently started wearing wigs and one of the things that strikes me most is that people seem to treat me with much more respect; especially at work. I look much more professional now and I feel 100% more confident. I think that maybe because my wig hair is so smart and well cut, I’m perceived as somehow more professional. People should not make judgments based on appearance, however the reality is, they do!
Couldn’t agree more with the positive comments ‘The Upsides of Aloplecia’.
Not having to worry about washing and styling my hair before an evening out saves me hours!
Love the comments on ‘upsides’ and, having weathered the trauma of losing all my hair within 5 weeks at the age of 72, I agree with them all, plus not having to wash my hair when on holiday – I have friends who have to devote several hours to this task while I am enjoying the sunshine etc.