It starts with us
“The old chestnut but unfortunately, regardless of the encouragement we may receive from our friends and families, to become and remain positive regarding our hair loss, it has to begin and come from ourselves”.
Is it self-pity?
“Someone once said to me that he was always being told, when feeling down about his situation, to think of someone worse off than himself. He said his problem was he couldn’t find one. Although it may sound as though he was being flippant, his words have always stayed with me as they say so much”.
“When we are overwhelmed by hair loss, especially repeated occurrences, making ourselves feel better from the misery of others isn’t what we need. At that moment in time what is happening to us is the worst thing in the world that could happen to anyone, it is our crisis and cannot be quantified by comparison to the traumas of others”.
“Shock, devastation, horror and not knowing a solution or way out are not self-pity. They are natural reactions to the unexpected and sometimes traumatic events we experience in our lives. It is what we do next that matters”.
We are all so different
“Being such a complex bunch we all behave and react so differently to the same events”.
“Regardless of that I feel there are some basic things to consider that can help us all to stay positive during initial or repeated hair loss”.
My
list
that
helps
me
keep
positive:
– You never know, it might grow back.
– Perhaps a temporary shorter style will disguise the loss until it grows back.
– Purchase a wig that matches your existing style – you may not want anyone to know what has happened until you have come to terms with it yourself.
– Find information on hair loss and its causes – be informed – knowledge of a condition goes a long way towards accepting and grappling with its distressing side effects.
– Find a solution that you are comfortable with: Wig – Topper – Headwear – Crop Cut or even try, au natural?
– Try not to be affected by the reactions of others – people can be thoughtless but you must concentrate on keeping your on emotional balance.
– ACCEPT what has happened and then be pro-active with moving forward – it is a mistake to constantly hanker after and remember what we used to look like with our own hair.
After all, it is a fact of life that everyone gets older and their physical appearance changes in numerous different ways over the years, not just their hair. Concentrate on your good bits. I have a friend who lost her hair but I would kill to have her amazing legs!
Remember
Sometimes I look in the mirror and just see a completely different person from the one I used to be. When I do, I always remember that:
After 10 year of frontal lobe alopecia. I still remember the hurt and frustration I felt when family with their friends – thought they had never told them about my problem. Would hold a conversation with me when I bumped into them out door’s shopping. Fulling staring at my head all the time no eye contact then look at each other those words “ You’d never could tell “ . Then then leaving saying “ How many do u have ? “ Me saying loads , then the most awful thing from one of my husbands sisters from the other side of the Street “ Good – we’ll make a date and do a Party and have try on and a good laugh , kisses Bye “ ….. I sobbed. I’m fine now anyone says my hairs nice I tell them it comes from a box – aren’t I lucky ? I’ve learned to live with my turban in my home and my wig and glamour when out ( I’m 77) ! It gets better after 10 years . As my Granddaughter said to me first time I panicked when she saw me without my wig “ awww it suits u” ! You are still my Nana anyway u are – She’s a very clever Pretty 12 yr old Karate Black Belt ! X
Thank you so much Pamela, it looks really fabulous on you and I am tempted to order myself! The colour looks good too.
Hello Margaret. Thank you so much for your kind words.
The wig I am wearing in the photo is Jon Renau – Scarlett – in Caramel Syrup FS26/31
Thank you for your measured, sensible and true words Pamela x
Thankyou for your very positive post,just what I needed today
This was brilliant because it said everything I have often though but was not organised enough to actually put “ on paper “ .
However I do think the most important thing is to accept and get on with life .
What a fabulous uplifting view on hair loss. Thank you.
Pamela, that is one of the most accurate accounts of the emotional journey of hair loss that I have read, and believe me, I have read a lot. The real strength in your words is the positive theme running through at the same time acknowledging the pain and heartache that can re-surface at any time. There is so much that we can learn from one another. A question – is that a wig you are wearing in your lovely photograph, if so would you be prepared to say which wig it is because it looks wonderful. Thank you.
Margaret
So true, Pamela. Your positive words and comments are an inspiration and a source of encouragement to others. Thank you